The Hunt - A Reylo Fanfic
by OfDarkAndLight
Summary: Set after the events of the movie, Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Kylo Ren has been searching for the scavenger girl who wounded him in battle on Starkiller Base. His agents have tracked her down, but the mission to retrieve her turns out to be much less straightforward than he'd bargained for.
1. Chapter 1 - The Chase

Authors' note: Lucasfilm and Disney own the characters, we just play with them from time to time. This story was jointly written by DisappointedSon and FeministAwakens - we hope you enjoy it!

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Kylo Ren sat brooding on the bridge of his command shuttle. It had been months since the destruction of Starkiller Base, and he had spent most of the time since then on board the Star Destroyer Finalizer, sequestered within his private quarters, vacillating between rage and despair. The one constant - the driving force that urged him forward day after solitary day - was his obsession with the scavenger girl from Jakku. From the moment he woke up each morning, through his daily training exercises and meditation, till he lay his head down at night to sleep, she was never far from his thoughts.

Try as he might, he could not pinpoint the exact nature of his feelings toward her. At times it felt like ice cold hatred; at other times it was something else - hot like fire, and just as elusive. She had been able to summon the lightsaber that _should_ have been his to claim! That thought alone was cause for alarm. But there was more. They were bound to each other in a way that he couldn't understand. It had been the Force that had brought them together; there was no other explanation. Even after hours of meditation on the matter, he felt no more at peace than he had the first moment he'd heard of "the girl" who had helped the droid escape with the map fragment leading to Luke Skywalker. She was always there, in the back of his mind, tormenting him, just out of reach.

Over the course of those months, Ren had ordered many scouting missions to search for her, but they had all returned unsuccessful. All, that is, until now. The most recent group had returned with the news he had been waiting for - they had located Rey, and had the coordinates of her last known location.

So here he was, on his way to the remote planet, sitting in silent rumination. All of his effort had finally paid off and now he was closing in on her - the common scavenger who had given him the scar which now carved a jagged trail across his otherwise fair visage. And yet she was anything _but_ common - he'd learned that much the hard way. And the secret of her true identity was something he fully intended to unveil.

His silent reverie was broken by one of the ship's officers. "We're entering the planet's atmosphere, Sir. We will touch down in a matter of minutes."

He nodded, and from behind the mask he wore, Ren's synthesized voice replied, "Thank-you, officer."

Rising from his seated position, Kylo Ren made his way toward the closed gangplank, eager to exit the vessel and get on with his mission. This would be quick and simple - snatch the girl and bring her back to the ship. He was so confident of this that he instructed everyone else to stay aboard and make ready for their immediate departure. There was no time to be wasted.

As the ship touched down, the entryway lowered onto a desolate landscape - sparsely wooded and mountainous, with dustings of snow clinging to the sides of boulders strewn across the countryside. Ren strode down the ramp, looking around in all directions and reaching out with the force, in search of her energy. He had memorized it, and he could feel her near. With a nod back toward the crew aboard his shuttle, he made his way into the forest.


	2. Chapter 2 - Cornered

Authors' note: Lucasfilm and Disney own the characters, we just play with them from time to time. This story was jointly written by DisappointedSon and FeministAwakens - we hope you enjoy it!

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Kylo Ren moved through the rough terrain effortlessly, making no more noise than a cat as he wound his way through the rocky trail. His long stride assured him that he would catch up to Rey without any trouble, even if she did have a head start on this path. Idly, he wondered whether she would be able to sense his presence as well. It was possible, but he doubted it. His pride was too strong to allow that she had come that far in her knowledge of the Force. And besides, he had the advantage since he knew she was there. She had no such knowledge of his whereabouts. Reaching the top of the hill he'd been climbing, Ren surveyed the landscape ahead. In the distance, he could make out of the form of a young woman. It had to be her! If he did this correctly, he could make an arc through the heavily wooded area to the left and come out on the other side, ahead of her. The element of surprise would work in his favor, so he veered off the rocky trail and began his ascent through the thick undergrowth, keeping hidden from view.

Ren made his way along the mountainside, gracefully slipping through the trees and gullies, occasionally swinging his lightsaber to cut through the particularly dense undergrowth when it impeded his way. Just when he was beginning to get winded, he reached a clearing. He was standing on an outcropping about 15 feet above the pass that Rey was traveling. He looked down the pathway as far as he could before it curved steeply downward, but he could not see her. Either she had already passed by and he had missed her entirely, or he had been even more efficient than he'd realized. He squatted down, leaning back against a large stone protruding from the ground behind him, and waited for her to arrive.

Rey paused and drew a deep breath before she clambered over another boulder blocking her path. She'd been working her way up a rocky pass between the two mountains for what felt like hours. She glanced back, but was unable to see the route she had taken. The tight twists and turns combined with the rocky outcroppings and boulders had obscured most of her view of the landscape. She shivered against an icy wind and peered up at the tiny visible patch of sky, noticing ominous storm clouds closing in over her. She cursed her decision to not bring more than a cloak as she began to move again. She had wanted to be unencumbered so as to move quickly across the terrain, but as the wind continued to pick up, she shivered again and regretted not wearing a parka. She had to keep moving. If a bad storm was headed in, she needed to reach her destination, or at least find shelter. As she steeled herself to continue she suddenly froze. She _felt_ something. Someone. She looked around nervously, and chided herself. She was miles away from any from living beings. No one knew she was here. No one at the village had recognized her. And yet… Someone _was_ there.

She continued on her way, climbing over rocks and snaking around the trees that had begun to dominate her path. As the chill of the wind cut through her cloak, she paused. She could sense someone near. She drew her lightsaber from her belt, panic rising in her chest. It had to be a villager. No one could possibly have found her, especially not _him._ As she gripped her weapon, she crept forward, noticing a clearing up ahead. As she reached the edge, she lingered. It was ringed by the natural stone walls of the mountains, providing her no cover to sneak around it in the shelter of the trees or a rocky ledge. Warily, she stepped slightly past the trees she had been shielded by…

Ren felt his heart lurch as the girl came into view. He was somewhat shielded from the path, being above eye level, and his black robes blended with the deep grey of the stones that were scattered everywhere. Now that he could see her, he had no doubt that she could sense his presence. The way she looked around, the faint aura of panic that wafted off her like a bitter perfume. Pushing off the boulder and with a graceful hop, he threw himself off the ridge and dropped to the ground right in front of her, igniting his lightsaber at the moment of impact, and pointing it in her direction as he rose to his full height.

Rey knew it was him even before his feet touched the ground. She could feel his volatility coursing through the air, electrifying it. She tried to reach for her lightsaber, but found herself paralyzed, just as he had done to her before. She felt like the wind had been knocked out of her, and she realized she was frozen in terror, not through any action on the part of the tall, masked figure rising up in front of her. Her eyes widened as his lightsaber crackled to life, and she felt an overwhelming flood of emotions wash over her as a low, smooth voice emanated from the dark form in front of her. "We meet again. At long last," he crooned, his voice deepened and altered by the mask he wore. Frantic, Rey searched for any possible escape from Kylo Ren, but could see none.

The tall figure stared her down from behind his mask. He felt a measure of satisfaction at the level of fear he could sense in her and it fed his force power like a drug. Lowering his lightsaber, he retracted the laser and clipped the hilt to his belt as he began to walk in a lazy circle around her. He knew she was looking for a way of escape, and he lifted his hand, effectively freezing her in place where she stood. He knew if she focused herself she could probably break free. But he was counting on her fear to work to his advantage. Completing his first revolution around the paralyzed girl, he began speaking casually, as if to an old friend. "You know, I've been looking for you for a _very_ long time. It's so good to see you again. You wouldn't try something so foolish as trying to run, would you?" he queried, finally standing still in front of her, and letting his hand drop down to his side so she could relax.

She could feel the panic gripping her tighter as she tried to ignite her saber and found herself completely immobilized. She followed him with her eyes as he circled her, and felt her muscles tense as she prepared for her consciousness to be ripped away from her. To her surprise, she instead heard his deep, mechanized voice again. He knew she couldn't answer his question. He was taunting her, like an animal with its prey. She could do nothing but draw rapid, frightened breaths as he dropped his hand and released her.

He watched her silently for a few moments, trying to read her without actually reaching into her mind. Leaning forward slightly to place himself at eye level with her, he cocked his head to one side, waiting for her to make some move. Even if she did try to run, he could easily stop her with a flick of his wrist. Not getting any obvious reaction, he stood back up to his full height. "Do you have nothing to say to me after all this time?" he spoke softly, his tone somewhere between familiar and menacing. "I thought we'd each left a ... _mark..._ on each other when last we met." As he spoke, a bone chilling wind began to stir, whipping his cloak violently against his body, and snowflakes swirled around them.

She trembled as he leaned in towards her, though she can't tell if it's from his proximity or the rapidly plummeting temperature. She barely managed to shake her head in a 'no' to his question; she was overwhelmed by the dizzying speed that her thoughts were racing across her mind. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. She was meant to hunt _him._ She should be facing him on her terms, when she's ready… When she has the advantage. Instead, he'd stalked and trapped her. He must have had a ship nearby. With backup. She drew her cloak tighter in a futile attempt to shield herself from him and pointedly looked anywhere but his direction.

Kylo Ren crossed his arms across his chest as he considered his options. He could knock her out and carry her back to his shuttle as he had done last time, but it was a long hike back to the ship, and that didn't seem like the most sensible choice. Each moment he spent deliberating, the chill in the air grew more severe, and what had begun as a flurry was now a steady shower of fat and heavy snowflakes. Silently cursing himself for not examining the weather patterns of this planet before making the journey, he forced his focus back onto Rey. "I'm surprised," he admitted, "that you would still fear me. After all, it was _you_ who left _me_ for dead in that woods on the crumbling Starkiller Base. For all you knew, I could have been destroyed right along with it..." He looked upwards to the darkening sky before continuing. "Come. We need to move. This storm will be in full force soon and we should not be caught in it. If you will assure me of your cooperation, I will let you walk on your own back to my shuttle."

Rey followed his gaze to the sky, but upon hearing his offer, she scowled. As she looked back at him, the fire in her eyes reignited and she glared at him. "You'll _let_ me walk, if I cooperate?" The rising panic she had just felt was rapidly being replaced by a growing rage. How dare he condescend to her like that; if she'd just cooperate he'd _deign_ to let her walk to her prison cell. "I will do no such thing. You have nothing more to protect yourself out here than I do. We're both at the mercy of this storm, and I will not be bullied into being your prisoner because you're afraid of a little snow." As she hurled this at him, she set her jaw and tensed slightly, preparing to fight him if necessary. She would not allow herself to be taken captive this easily.

Ren gaped at her from behind his mask. The shift in her demeanor rivaled his own infamous mood swings and he wasn't used to being spoken to like that. Collecting his composure, he sighed. "So much hostility. Why do you assume that you are to be my prisoner? I mean you no harm." He had ignored her comment about him being afraid of the snow, but as the storm continued to intensify, a flicker of doubt began to grow inside him. Rey was from a desert planet. She didn't understand how dangerous a blizzard could become. Otherwise she might have been scared of the snow too. "You don't have a choice," he was shouting now, the wind howling around them. "We need to find shelter, and my shuttle is the nearest vessel!"

For a brief moment, Rey thought she felt surprise, perhaps even shock, emanating from the masked figure in front of her. Just as soon as she felt it though, it was gone, and she wondered whether it hadn't been a figment of her imagination. He was wearing that damned mask, as always. Without a glimpse of his face, she could only hope to pick up on his emotions and use those against him. "I'm _not_ going with you!" She yelled, planting her hands on her hips. "You expect me to believe you'll just put me on to your shuttle to stay safe from the cold, and then let me go on my merry way? Maybe I haven't had you as a teacher, but I'm not stupid!" she hissed at him as she turned on her heel to head back into the trees.

He could hardly believe what was happening as he watched her turn her back on him and begin walking toward the woods. With another sigh and a roll of his eyes, he made a slashing motion with his right arm, and instantly, a tree splintered and fell right in her path. "Do you really think you can just walk away from me?!" He demanded, feeling anger rising in him.

Rey felt her temper boiling over as a tree crashed in front of her. Or perhaps that was _his_ anger; she couldn't be sure. She rounded on him and began to scream. "Are you trying to kill me?" she marched towards him. "You claim I'm not your prisoner, but the moment I turn to leave, you hurl a tree at me!" She was right in front of him now, and drew herself up to her full height, though she barely reached his chin. "Tell me what you're playing at _now_ , or I'll use this on you." She gestures with her lightsaber, which she'd ripped from her belt and had pointed squarely at his stomach.

"Now now," he tsked at her. "If I'd wanted to kill you, you would have been dead an hour ago. I had hoped not to need to use force, but if you insist on making things difficult, it can't be helped. You will not survive this storm without shelter. Why not come back to my shuttle until the storm breaks?" He knew it was unlikely that she'd agree, but he had to try. The longer they delayed, the stronger the wind and snow were becoming, and Ren wondered whether they'd have time enough even to get back to his ship. "Come on. We need to move," he restated with authority, and started off in the direction of his shuttle.

As she watched his retreating back, Rey considered bolting in the opposite direction. He'd given her the perfect opportunity to escape. As she turned to do so, she realized the rocky path ahead was already slick with fallen snow, and the swirling white flakes obscured her view down the path. Perhaps he _had_ been right to suggest they take shelter, she thought begrudgingly. She had no experience with this kind of weather, and she wasn't much help to the Resistance as an ice cube. At the same time, it was almost too convenient that he'd shown up and offered her shelter just as a storm bore down on them. She knew enough to conceal her presence from him in a rudimentary manner; she could trail behind him and make her way to the nearest village. Her resolve strengthening, she set off quietly in the direction he had gone.


	3. Chapter 3 - The Rescue

Authors' note: Lucasfilm and Disney own the characters, we just play with them from time to time. This story was jointly written by DisappointedSon and FeministAwakens - we hope you enjoy it!

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Ren trudged through the mounting snow, the piercing wind blowing against his lean body, and he was thankful for the mask he wore that shielded his face from frostbite. He knew it was risky to turn his back on the scavenger girl, but he was able to sense her trailing behind him, confirming he'd made the right call. They walked like this for several minutes, and the snow was becoming deeper all the time. The storm had turned into a full-blown blizzard, and it showed no signs of letting up any time soon. He wondered about the girl. She was still behind him, but her aura was fading. This could mean that she was trailing further behind, or that she was becoming dangerously weak. She was not accustomed to this type of weather, and she hadn't been dressed for it either. He cursed under his breath at the realization that if they didn't take cover, she could be badly hurt. Stopping where he stood, he waited for her to catch up with him, but looking behind, he could see nothing but the swirling snow. Grumbling to himself, he began retracing his steps. He had come all this way to find the girl, and he wasn't about to lose her now!

As the storm settled down upon them, Rey pressed onwards. She could still sense Ren's presence up ahead, though the distance between them was widening. She shivered again, violently, and tried to pull her cloak more tightly in a futile attempt to stay warm. She knew that her progress had slowed considerably, but she focused all of her energy on continuing. As she slogged on, lost in concentration, she felt her foot catch, and she crashed face first into a snow drift. Pushing herself up, she leaned against a tree and realized she was trembling uncontrollably. The snow had begun to soak through her tunic and leggings from her fall, and as she staggered forward into the swirling whiteness, Rey began to think she might not make it to the village.

Each step became more treacherous as he battled the wind and snow. He still could not see Rey, but he could _feel_ her more strongly now. He trudged on and on, all the time following the force to locate her, until he finally reached her crumpled form, half buried in the snow. Hurrying to her side, he quickly scooped her up in his arms. He had to find shelter _now_. He pressed on toward the cliff face along which they'd been walking, searching for any nook that might serve as a temporary shelter, at least from the bitter wind. Fortunately, he didn't have to search long before he found an opening in the hulking wall of stone and earth. He had to maneuver skillfully to shimmy through the narrow opening while carrying Rey, but he managed. Once he was inside, the acoustics let him know that he had found not only a nook in the cliff wall, but a series of caverns. Taking his lightsaber from its clip on his belt, he ignited the blade, casting a reddish glow on the cave walls around him and revealing a fairly large open space with smooth stone surfaces jutting upward and outward all around. It was nothing luxurious, but it would have to do. He moved slowly along the cave wall until he found a clean, dry area where he could sit. Acting quickly, he laid Rey down on the stone surface next to him. He removed his own hooded cloak and wrapped it around the unconscious girl, then removed his gloves and took her hands in his own, rubbing them briskly. He knew if he didn't revive her quickly, she could slip away, so he worked feverishly to warm her.

To Rey, everything had gone blurry. She told herself it was the intensity of the storm, and not her body conceding defeat to the frigid winds. She was _so cold,_ and it almost felt as if she was _in_ a snow bank… And suddenly, she felt herself lifted up through the air, one side of her face falling against something solid and warm. She made to open her eyes, to grab at whomever, or _whatever_ was carrying her, and found that she couldn't move, as if she had been entirely drained of energy. As the thought crossed her mind, she drifted into unconsciousness. Suddenly, the stinging wind had stopped. She attempted to sit up and gauge her surroundings, but couldn't feel her limbs or coordinate any movement, hard as she might try. The last thing she felt before passing out was a pair of large, firm hands closing around hers.

Kylo Ren sat huddled in the corner of the cave, still trying to resuscitate the girl who lay unconscious next to him. Even sheltered from the biting wind, the temperature was extremely low, and Rey had gotten her clothing wet from the snow. He had to figure out a way to warm her quickly. He considered the warmth from his lightsaber, but ultimately decided it would be too dangerous. Instead, he removed what he could of her soaked clothing, without undressing her to an immodest level. Then he lifted her to lean up against his own body for warmth, and wrapped his outer robes around them both. The feeling of having another human being in such close proximity to himself was one he had grown completely unaccustomed to, and it was unnerving having her so near, but this was now about survival - as much for himself as for her. Once they were both bundled up as snugly as possible, Kylo closed his eyes and called on the Force to warm himself, hoping that whatever body warmth he could muster would be enough to keep the girl from freezing.

Rey turned slightly. Or at least, she tried to. Something _hard_ was wrapped tightly around her, and she couldn't move. She tried to twist out of whatever was restraining her, and her efforts were rewarded with a tightened grip and… a soft grumble? She peered out into the darkness, trying to identify what was immobilizing her. She felt groggy, her extremities were tingling, and the skin on her hands and face was chapped and raw. As she tried again to free herself, she felt a warm breeze in her hair, adjusted her head, and realized that a person was holding her. She blinked, trying to clear the fog from her mind. Whoever it was didn't seem to be a threat, they were just holding her. She tried desperately to remember what she had been doing, who she had been with – and then it dawned on her. She frantically began to push against the broad form that was holding her. She opened her mouth to yell at it, but she could barely rasp out a whisper. As her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she looked up at the face of _Kylo Ren._

"Shuussshhh," he tried to calm her when she finally came to. She was frantic to escape his grasp, but physically, he was much stronger than she was, so it wasn't hard to keep hold of her. "Calm down," he said softly but firmly. "You are safe." He loosened his grip on her slightly, once he was convinced she would remain conscious. He offers a lopsided grin before continuing, "For a few minutes, I wasn't sure that you would pull through. But you are strong. Stronger than you know," he added. "How do you feel?"

Her heart was pounding in her chest as she felt him relax his hold on her slightly. "I…" She stammered, her throat dry, and her voice hoarse. "I feel really out of it," she managed "And I can't really move." She couldn't see the point in fighting with him right now. She was too weak to do much of anything, and she'd have to conserve what little energy she did have to get away from him. That had been her plan, at least, until she felt a brush of thick fabric against her bare thigh. "Where are my clothes!?" she bellowed at him, or at least tried to. It came out more as a squeak, her voice not yet recovered. Had he not still been holding her, she would have used her little remaining strength to hit him squarely in the chest. She was hyper aware of his body and his layers of clothes resting against her exposed skin. The only things she could feel of her own were her undergarments and a sleeveless tunic that hit mid-thigh. "First, you show up to kidnap me," she started, her voice rising pitifully. "And now you're undressing me!?"

He rolled his eyes, shaking his head in frustration. "Trust me, I took no pleasure in undressing you," he grumbled, though this statement had not been strictly 100% true. "I _had_ to take your wet clothes off because if I hadn't, the wet cloth would have frozen, and your skin along with it. The only way I could keep you from freezing was to share my body heat with you."

She struggled against him for a moment before giving up on the futile attempt and letting her head fall against his chest. She didn't understand why he was making such an effort to keep her alive if he was just going to kill her later. She no longer held information that he wanted, so he couldn't have anything else planned for her. At the same time, indignant as she was at waking up to him holding her scantily clad body, there wasn't any malicious reason for him to do that. She had no experience with this kind of weather or the dangers it brought, and resigned herself to the fact that he probably knew what he was doing. "Fine," she mumbled, feeling a prickly, burning sensation beginning on much of her body. He might be right, but she wasn't going to cooperate beyond what was absolutely necessary, and telling him that she was in pain certainly wasn't _necessary_. She was preparing to hurl a snide comment at him about how he was taking advantage of the situation, given that she was sure he never got this close to _anyone_ while in the First Order, but she had begun to feel so sleepy that she drifted off into oblivion before she could even begin to mouth off at him.


	4. Chapter 4 - The Hiding Spot

Authors' note: Lucasfilm and Disney own the characters, we just play with them from time to time. This story was jointly written by DisappointedSon and FeministAwakens - we hope you enjoy it!

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Kylo Ren sat in the dark cavern, holding Rey for a few more minutes. He knew she had to be in pain, even though she'd been too proud to admit it. He'd _felt_ it. But now her breathing had become deeper and she was no longer shivering. This was a good sign, even though she had lapsed back into unconsciousness. He sighed in frustration. None of this was supposed to have happened.

Looking down at the sleeping girl in his arms, he briefly contemplated leaving her there to die. It would be no worse than what she'd done to him on Starkiller Base, when she'd wounded him. On his own he might be able to get back to his ship, take off, and leave the memory of her behind. But he knew he couldn't do that. He _needed_ to know who she was. He didn't even know _why_ , but he required this knowledge like he needed to breathe. Breathing out another sigh, he decided that she was now stable enough to lay her down on the stone. He needed to go and find something with which to build a fire. He stripped down to his black pants and shirt, and swaddled Rey snugly in the remainder of his robes. Laying her gently on the stone area where he'd been sitting, he wandered off to find kindling.

Rey snuggled in deeper, feeling the heavy warmth of layers of fabric as she tossed and turned in a fitful sleep. She had been drifting in and out of consciousness for what, during a brief moment of alertness, she had guessed was the entire night. As she slowly emerged from her slumber, Rey sniffed hopefully, guessing that if Poe or Finn had tucked her into bed that night, perhaps they would be cooking breakfast soon. Her stomach growled eagerly in agreement. She hadn't eaten since… As she thought back to her last meal, reality came crashing down on her. She wasn't on a Resistance base. She was somewhere, judging by the hard slab underneath her, in a cave. She hadn't eaten since she'd set out that morning, and she'd only made a few hours progress before she had run into... _Kylo Ren!_ That was how she'd ended up here. He'd dragged her in here, probably for some nefarious purpose… She sat bolt upright at the sound of a distant noise in the darkness. She reached for her lightsaber, before remembering that he must have taken it off when he brought her here. She slid out from the tightly wrapped fabric that had kept her warm, and felt a cold dirt surface under her feet. She started forward, as quietly as possible, hoping her eyes would adjust to the darkness quickly. She crept along, straining to hear any movement around her, when suddenly she crashed into what felt like bunch of logs hovering at chest height and fell backward onto the cave floor, yelping in surprise.

"Blast it!" Ren shouted as the sticks he'd managed to gather went tumbling all over the cave floor. He couldn't see anything, but he knew by her force energy that it was Rey he'd run into "So you're awake," he grumbled, leaning down and trying to focus on using the force to pull the wood back to his hands. Once he'd gathered the sticks back into his arms, he straightened back up and strained to make out her silhouette in the darkness. "I trust you were comfortable enough?"

She felt tears prickling the corner of her eyes as her bare legs scraped against the dirt and stones on the floor. She had just collided with all 6'3" of Kylo Ren, the very last person she wanted to see at the moment. She tried to push herself back up, but felt her arms trembling beneath her weight and abandoned the attempt for the time being. "I'm fine," her voice wafted up softly from where she sat. It wasn't a lie. She had been fairly comfortable in whatever he'd wrapped her, particularly because she had been unconscious. He didn't need to know that not only was she feeling weak, but she could now add hungry, thirsty and in pain to the list. "What're you doing?"

"I was gathering wood to make a fire," he replied, not particularly enjoying being questioned by her. "You were unconscious for a couple hours at least. It will be nightfall soon, and it looks like we'll be spending the night in this cave. The temperature will continue to drop. If we don't build a fire, we'll freeze to death." He reached out to her and took her hand. "Come on. Let's get back to the place I left you."

She winced as he gently took her hand and pulled her up from the ground. She swayed on her feet slightly as he held on to her, before gritting her teeth and taking a step back from him. "Alright," she started, fully intending to keep up with whatever work he was doing, though not until she had found some clothes to put on. "What do you want me to do?"

He let loose a soft laugh, picking up on her particularly loud thought of wanting to get dressed. "Your clothes are still wet. Once we get a fire going, they'll dry more quickly. In the meantime, you can wear my cloak. For now, the best thing you can do is give me some light. The lightsaber you _stole_ is over there on the stone slab. If you ignite it, we'll have some light, and then we'll use the laser to light the fire after I arrange the kindling."

"Are you reading my thoughts?!" She blushed furiously and hoped that the darkness was enough to keep him from seeing both the flush creeping up her cheeks and that lack of clothing that was making her particularly self-conscious. She hadn't even noticed the jab at first, and then… "The lightsaber I _stole_!?" It was almost as if he was taunting her when he knew she was down. "It's mine, and you know it."

Ren scoffed at her indignation. "I know nothing of the sort! That lightsaber belonged to my grandfather! It is rightfully _mine._ Do not make the mistake of thinking, just because I saved your life, that all is forgiven. You know _nothing_ about me, and I know even less about you!" He glanced down somewhat blindly, noting that some of the twigs he'd been holding had splintered and several had fallen to the ground. Crouching down, he gathered what he could and began arranging them in a pile, not waiting for the light source. "Regardless of its rightful owner, we need it to light the fire. So if you would, please get it."

She noticed that he ignored her accusation that he'd looked into her mind, and she made a mental note to go back to that. She wouldn't cooperate with him this easily, especially not if he was going to go back to this nonsense about her lightsaber being rightfully his, or insinuate that now that he'd saved her life, she was in his debt. It was _his_ fault they were stuck here in the first place. She closed her eyes as she heard him scrounging around for kindling, and reached out with the Force, calling _her_ lightsaber to her. She caught it lightly in her hands, and tucked it into the waistband of her tunic. It wasn't exactly a secure hiding spot, but since he seemed as blinded by the darkness as she was, it would at least give her time to tuck it away properly. "You can summon it yourself, since it belongs to _you_ ," she retorted.

Ren sighed at her remark. Last time he'd tried to summon the saber; he'd nearly been decapitated by it as it hurtled past him and into her outstretched hand. In the pitch black of this cave, that was an exercise he did not wish to revisit. Having finished arranging the pile of sticks and scrap wood, he stood up. "Nevermind," he grumbled. "Now that my hands are free, I'll use my own." In one fluid motion, he unclasped his own lightsaber from its place on his belt and ignited the blade. A reddish glow filled the cavern and his heart lurched as he caught a glimpse of the girl standing opposite him. He had no idea why, other than the disconcerting perception of her suddenly appearing out of nowhere like a ghost. Carefully, he lowered his lightsaber slowly, aiming one of the cross vents at the top of the pile of sticks, hovering there until the kindling sparked to life in flame. He looked over to Rey with a satisfied grin, quite proud of himself.

She relaxed slightly as he seemed to give up on Anakin's saber for the moment. The dim light that flooded the cave, momentarily stunned her after the hours she'd spent in the darkness. As he lit a small fire, smug look spread across his face, it was all she could do to keep from rolling her eyes at his arrogance. "Congratulations," she muttered sarcastically. "That's quite an achievement, using something that heats to thousands of degrees to start a fire." As his gaze rested on her for a second, the embarrassment she had felt when she woke up against him, half naked, came rushing back over her. Using the faintly flickering light, she began to make her way to the pile of his clothes, intending to take something to cover herself.

Kylo allowed his gaze to linger on Rey as she turned to gather some clothes for herself. Shaking himself back to reality, he directed his attention to the fire he'd just started. Poking at it with a long stick, he shouted over to her without looking, "If you'll toss me your wet clothes, I'll lay them out to dry by the fire."

A shiver ran down Rey's spine as she felt him slowly look her up and down while she turned away from him to put on another layer of clothing. She pulled his long sleeve tunic over her head and was pleased to find that it fell to her knees and obscured her lightsaber. Before picking up her own clothing, which she realized he had spread out neatly on a rock, she wrapped herself in his cloak, noticing the difference between the thick, tightly knit fabric and her own worn out clothes. She walked back to him and handed him the wet pile with a begrudging "Thanks," then began searching for her boots. Her feet were starting to feel numb with cold, and the rough cave floor was only serving to cut up her soles. Finding them even wetter than the rest of her clothing, she placed them near the fire and retreated to the corner of the chamber. She tucked the cloak up under herself and hoped that he'd just leave her alone until they could get out of here.

Taking the wet clothes from Rey, Kylo draped them over some stones near the fire, which had grown nicely and was now giving off a fair amount of light and heat. He stretched out his hands, letting the blaze thaw his frozen digits. "You'd be warmer over here by the fire," he said conversationally. When she didn't immediately respond, he added, "You do realize if it weren't for me, you would be dead right now, yes?" He shook his head with a soft chuckle. "You _are_ a stubborn one, aren't you?"

She didn't know if he was trying to wear down her defenses or was being genuinely kind, but Rey didn't reply, and she certainly resented the patronizing tone he was using. She was far enough in the shadows that she felt reasonably sure he couldn't see her well, and she was watching the firelight play across his youthful face. Seeing him in half-light like this had reminded her of their first, and perhaps most unpleasant encounter. She partially expected him to reach out and attempt to force his way into her mind at any minute, and she was trying to steel her mind against an intrusion. He was right that she'd be warmer by the fire, and she hadn't felt warm since the snow began to fall. Tucking her – no, _his_ cloak - she reminded herself, tightly around her, she walked to the exact opposite side of the fire from him and sat down. It did feel better, she thought resentfully, even if it served to remind her of her thirst. Casting a quick look at him across the fire, she decided it couldn't hurt to reciprocate his attempt at conversation; "Why do you keep reminding me that I'd be dead if it weren't for you?"

He shrugged. "It's true, for one thing. But mostly because I know you still hate and fear me. It's not difficult to surmise. I don't even need to read your thoughts to see it." He turned his attention back to the fire. "You know if I'd wanted to kill you, I could have done it a long... _long_ time ago. I mean you no harm." He wasn't quite sure why it was so important to him that she trust him, but for whatever reason, it was.

Rey shuddered. He had very nearly killed her on the Starkiller base, and could just as easily have permanently injured her. She hated thinking about any part of that ordeal, and here was the main culprit, sitting right across from her in this small space while she wore his clothes. She absentmindedly pushed the too-long sleeves back up to uncover her hands, the movement apparently enough to cause a shaky cough. She rose to her feet. "I'm going to get some water," she announced, not really expecting a reaction from him, but hoping it would be enough to put an end to the conversation. She walked toward what she assumed was the cave entrance, trying to shake the uncomfortable feeling that had settled around her when he'd claimed that he meant her no harm.


	5. Chapter 5 - Fight or Flight

Authors' note: Lucasfilm and Disney own the characters, we just play with them from time to time. This story was jointly written by DisappointedSon and FeministAwakens - we hope you enjoy it!

* * *

Ren watched her get up and move towards the mouth of the cave. "Please tell me you don't intend to go back into the snow after you've just gotten yourself warm," he called after her. "What do you think you're going to carry water in?" He rolled his eyes, both amused and slightly put off by her unwillingness to trust him. "Let me help you," he said, standing to his feet.

She paused, but didn't look back at him. "No, I don't need any help," she said shortly. He was right, she didn't have anything to carry snow or water in, and as she looked down at her bare feet, she knew he was also right that she shouldn't be going back out in the storm. "I can do it myself, go sit down." She wanted him to be further away from her. She hated how she could feel wisps of his presence wrapping around her no matter where she was in the chamber. It had scared her when he pushed into her mind one brief time, but the sustained sensation of his consciousness brushing against her mind was too much to handle. She turned a tight corner in the passageway and felt a bracing blast of cold air swirl around her cloak. This was better, she thought; something else to focus on.

He hadn't thought about how thirsty and hungry the girl must have been. The Force was enough to sustain him for short periods of time. But now that he was thinking about water, he realized he was dreadfully thirsty too. Rey had ducked out of sight. Would she really go back out in that storm just to prove a point? He sighed and followed after her. "Rey?" He called out. "Don't be foolish. I'm coming to help you." He shook his head to himself - this was not _at all_ how this day was supposed to go.

Rey stopped about five feet short of the cave. She could hear the wind howl dreadfully outside, and to her relief, his presence was only vaguely palpable from here. She inhaled deeply, already feeling calmer, and as she looked around she realized the storm had blown snow into the mouth of the passageway nearly to where she stood. She crouched down to grab a handful and ruefully noticed that all of the drifts inside the cave were covered in the dirt that comprised the cave. She straightened up, and as she heard him yell "Rey?" from deeper in the cave, she felt the edge of his mind float around her. Her heart sunk at the returning invasion of her space, and, hoping to get just a few more moments to herself, she stepped barefoot into the snow and walked to the entrance of the cave.

Stepping around the corner he squinted against the light of the sun. Even with total cloud cover, it was very bright outside. He could see her now, standing _in the snow_ in the entryway. His black robes, which she was wearing, stood in stark contrast to the white of everything beyond. "What are you doing?" He shouted, annoyed. "Do you _want_ to die? I'm not sure I'd go to the trouble of resuscitating you again!" He took a few steps closer to her. The fear and disgust she felt toward him rolled off her in billows, and for some reason, it hurt him every time. He walked up behind her and placed a hand gently on her shoulder. "You can't be out here like this. You'll freeze."

Her whole body stiffened as she felt his hand on her shoulder. "Maybe I don't _care_ ," she said, the despair she had urgently wanted to conceal evident in her voice. "Leave me alone. You can tell everyone you killed me in battle, and you can take your grandfather's lightsaber as proof. It'll save you the _trouble_ of having to revive me again." Her words were now dripping with sarcasm. And, she thought, I can get away from you. She looked out into the swirling white snow. She could draw on the Force enough to keep herself warm for a little while. If she stayed close to this rock face, she should be able to find another cave to shelter in somewhere nearby. She could certainly meditate there, conceal her presence, and wait for him to leave the planet. She was confident she could survive; after all, this wasn't so different from the harsh deserts of Jakku.

He listened to her words incredulously. "Save your breath, scavenger. I do not believe for a second that you are the quitting type." He removed his hand from her shoulder and stepped around her, positioning himself to face her. "What must I do to convince you that I am not your enemy?"

She deflated slightly at the change in his tone. She preferred when he spoke more gently to her, but she had been trying to pick fights with him, so that was partially her fault. He was right though, she was decidedly _not_ one to give up easily. As he came face to face with her, or more aptly, face to shoulder, for he towered over her, she bit her bottom lip and considered his question. She didn't have an answer, because she wasn't sure anything would assure her. "We are always going to be enemies," she said finally, hoping he'd leave the matter alone.

Ren knew that he would get nowhere with the girl until she had something to drink. Food was out of the question right now but he could at least gather some fresh snow for drinking water and convince her to come back to the fire. And if he couldn't convince her, he had other ways of making her do what he wanted; though he hoped it wouldn't come to that. Then a thought occurred to him. His metal helmet lay nestled against his waist, cradled under his arm. It was not ideal, but it would serve to hold water - a little anyway. Turning his back on Rey, he trudged out into the snow, crouched down and scooped as much of the fluffy white snow as he could into his helmet, cursing under his breath the whole time. Surely the moisture would short-circuit the mechanical workings inside the mask, but he saw no other option. Standing back up, he trudged back toward Rey and the cave behind her, holding eye contact with her the whole time. With a forced half-grin, he said, "I've got water. If you wish to live, I suggest you bring your high and mighty scavenging self back to the fire, take a drink, and warm your feet before I'm forced to perform an emergency amputation with my lightsaber."

His threat of a lightsaber amputation caused Rey to shudder, before she quickly clenched her jaw and frantically tried to blink back the tears welling up in her eyes. The pain of standing barefoot in the freezing snow was excruciating, but she would _not_ let him see her show weakness by crying. Her head held high, she ignored his mockery of her humble background and, uninterested in testing out his 'medical' skills, she grudgingly turned to head back into the cave. As she walked far enough in that the ground was no longer snow covered, Rey felt her balance falter and she stumbled. Luckily, the passageway was narrow, and she leaned up against the wall, but as she tried to gingerly take a step, she felt particularly unsteady on her feet. Pausing under the guise of adjusting her tunic, she steeled herself to head back to the chamber, unwilling to concede that she had been foolish to go outside, and that _again_ , Ren had been appropriately concerned for her wellbeing.

Ren made his way back to the fire with the helmet full of snow. He was beginning to wonder what his actual intention had been in coming here. Had he planned to kill the girl? To have his revenge for what she'd done to him back on Starkiller Base? Absently, he ran his fingertips lightly over the jagged scar that ran across his face. _She_ had given it to him. A final parting gift before he'd seen her take off in his own father's ship, leaving him to die on the crumbling planet. He _wanted_ to hate her. But somehow, he just couldn't. In fact, rather than doing her harm, he'd saved her life. Ironic, how things turn out. He reached over and turned Rey's wet clothes over to dry on the other side. They were still damp, but drying steadily. "Are you coming?" he called out, wondering what was taking her so long to return.

Rey was making a valiant effort to walk back to the fire without giving any indication that _yet again_ she was in pain, and this time, it was completely her own fault. As she stepped gingerly over the uneven ground back towards their little cave, she tried to compose herself enough that her discomfort wasn't visible in her gait. She heard Ren calling down the corridor to ask if she was returning. She sighed, before wearily replying "Yes." There wasn't any sense in making up an excuse, he'd see through it. As she limped around a corner, soft light danced around the chamber from the flames, and she paused to see him rearranging the last of her wet clothes by the fire. He was being extraordinarily nice to her, she though suspiciously, but there wasn't any point in picking another fight right now. "Thank you," she stammered, nodding her head towards the clothes he had just put down.

"You're welcome," he answered, looking up to see her coming around the corner. She was walking slowly - probably her feet were numb from standing in the snow. Foolish girl. But he also knew that she was too proud to accept his help, so he pretended not to notice. Turning his attention back to the fire, he shrugged. "The sooner your clothes dry, the sooner I can have my own robes back." He gestured toward the helmet sitting next to him on the ground. "You can have a drink if you like. I don't have any cups, but you can scoop some out with your hands."

Rey blushed slightly and bowed her head to stare at her feet. He probably hated having her, a _scavenger_ , as he so often enjoyed reminding her, wearing his clothing. "Sorry," she said softly. "I can take them off now if you want." As she waited for him to respond, she slowly made her way to where he had set down his helmet, and, trying not to lose her balance, lowered herself to the ground. She picked up his helmet and couldn't stifle a small smile. She had been terrified the first time she saw him, a monster in a mask, but here it sat, upside down in her lap and full of rapidly melting snow. Looking down at it, she lifted a hand to scoop up a sip of the water, but on second consideration, gently raised it to her lips and took a slow sip from the back rim, relishing the feeling of the cool water soothing her parched mouth and throat.

He watched her as she took a drink from his helmet, and couldn't help but smile just a little. Never had he imagined his helmet would be put to such a use as this. When she'd seemed to have drunk her fill, Kylo held out his hands to her. "Can I have some too?" he asked teasingly, "Unless you've finished it all." Remembering her comment about the clothes, he shook his head. "Don't worry about the clothes. You can wait till yours are dry. It shouldn't take much longer, and I'm quite comfortable here by the fire."

She felt his eyes on her again and her cheeks flushed once again. "Sorry, I – No, I didn't finish it," she hesitated; embarrassed that she hadn't thought to offer it to him. He had given up his helmet and gotten it, after all. "Here, it's all yours." She leaned over to hand it to him, and slid a few inches farther away from him when she shifted back to her seat. Since he hadn't wanted his clothes back, she tucked her knees as close to her as was comfortable, draped the front of his cloak over them, and tried to surreptitiously rub some warmth or feeling back into her numb feet.

He took the helmet and had a drink, making sure to leave some for Rey to have another sip, then handed it back to her. "You need it more than I do," he said softly, almost embarrassed by the kindness he was showing her. He watched her take the helmet back from him. She actually looked kind of cute wearing his robes, which were several sizes too large for her. Immediately, he felt a blush creep up his cheeks. (Get ahold of yourself, Ren!) he internally chastised. He was surely losing his mind. Clearing his throat, and looking back to the fire, he said, "There are things that need to be said." He had no idea where to begin, but there was an elephant in the room, and the nervous tension between them was building to an unbearable level.

She mustered a small smile in thanks as he passed his helmet back, but looked away when he let his gaze linger on her. She felt an odd warmth radiating off him that she couldn't identify, though it made her uncomfortable. Staring into the shimmering pool of water in the bottom of the black helmet, she took a deep breath and tried to open herself up to it, to understand it. Her concentration was quickly broken by Ren currently pointing out that there was something they needed to discuss. 'No,' she thought to herself. 'Please, no.' Truth be told, the last few minutes had been bearable, almost pleasant, and she didn't have the energy or the desire to get into a screaming match with him right now. All she really wanted was to curl up by the fire, warm her feet so it no longer felt like thousands of little needles were stabbing at her soles, and then doze off. Instead, not seeing any alternative, she finally replied. "Alright… What do you want to discuss?"

He grimaced, feeling her defenses rising immediately. He forced himself to keep his gaze steady on her, unwilling to look weak. "Well, I think it's pretty obvious...You still need a teacher." He forced a smile. "You have grown stronger - I can feel that. But there is so much more. I could show you - I could help you." Wow. That hadn't been the direction he'd expected to take, but those were the words that stumbled out of his mouth.

She dropped his helmet, clenched her jaw and vigorously shook her head. "No, I don't," she retorted. "I already _have_ a teacher, you must know that. And I don't need anyone else's help, especially not _yours_." Her eyes flashed angrily as she stared back at him. Why was he doing this again? He had to know she had met Luke, who else would have sent her to this godforsaken planet. Why couldn't he just leave it alone, especially considering they were trapped together in a cave for heaven only knew how long.

He frowned at the sudden outburst, having felt the swelling anger in her even before she spoke. "Of course; you've been training with my uncle," he said, dropping his gaze back to the fire. "You think he is everything I am _not._ You see him as a legend - larger than life." He raised his head to pierce her with a now sorrowful expression. "He is not infallible, Rey," he said shaking his head. "He is just a man. And not a particularly strong or righteous man, at that."

"Leave him out of this," she spat back at him. "Maybe he's not perfect, but he's not _evil._ He's not like _you_!" The last sentence flew out before she could think to bite her tongue. Insulting a man who ordered entire towns killed was not a smart move on her part, but she couldn't help herself. If he was going to kill her, maybe he'd do it now, in a fit of rage. Better that than be tortured to death on one of his ships, she thought to herself bitterly.

Ren winced at the venomous sting behind her words, and he knew she expected him to lash out at her, but he just felt deflated, like she'd knocked the air right out of him. His mouth fell open and for one terrifying moment he thought he might actually cry. "You _still_ think I am evil." It was a statement, not a question. She had made her opinion perfectly clear. He lifted his hand to run long slender fingers through his hair, trying to regain some composure. "I am just a man," he finally said somewhat flatly. "I'm not a monster. Why can't you see that?"

She stared back at him incredulously. Was he _hurt_ by what she'd accused him of? Did he expect her to suddenly be won over by the care he'd shown her in the last 12 hours or so, after ambushing her no less? He was merciless, violent; he had killed his own Father... She opened her mouth to tell him _exactly_ the kind of monster he was, when a final memory sprang to the front of her mind. Ren, chasing her down and grabbing her on Takodana. She couldn't forget the terror she felt, no matter how hard she tried. "Really?" She glared at him. She desperately wished she could push all of those memories into his mind, maybe _then_ he'd stop with the self-pity.

He watched her intently. Though he wasn't trying to read her thoughts, her emotions might as well have been screaming at him. Feeling affronted, he narrowed his eyes. "You do not understand even a fraction of what you think you do," he said more coldly. He was getting frustrated with her persistent defiance, and he was running out of options.

"Why does it matter to you what I think?" She shot back at him. Though she hadn't had the energy for a fight a moment ago, that had changed rapidly the angrier she got. "I know plenty," she retorted. 'And I haven't forgotten what you've done to me,' she thought, hoping that she had enough control over her emotions that he wouldn't hear it.

He heard her thoughts as loudly as if she'd shouted them, and he didn't miss a beat. "What _I've_ done to _you_!" He scrambled to his feet, feeling the need to gain some sense of control in this discussion. "Then tell me, please, what did _I_ do to _you_? Because to my recollection, it was _you_ who left me scarred, wounded, and potentially killed!" He hadn't wanted to lose his temper, but it was a losing battle. "I wasn't even trying to hurt you! I could have killed you several times over if I'd wanted to! All I ever wanted was for you to listen to me. To _see_ me!" He stopped, breathless from the emotional exertion of what he'd just said, staring at her.

She was close to tears. How could he not understand what he'd done to her?! She hadn't done anything to him, and he had hunted her down on Takodana, paralyzed her, taunted her with his light saber, then knocked her out and kidnapped her. He'd shackled her to a table in his torture chamber and tried to force his way into her mind. He certainly had tried to kill her in the forest on Starkiller, he'd ambushed her _here_ and now he had the gall to say he had never tried to hurt her? Rey rose to her feet, fuming, barely noticing the pain that shot up her legs or how shaky she was. "Do I need to write you a _list_?" She yelled at him. "And you ended up with that scar because you were trying to kill me!" She was so furious she had almost missed his comment about wanting her to see him. 'What on earth had he meant by that?' She wondered as she stood panting, her breathing strained by how enraged she'd become.

The emotional tension in the cavern was so thick, it was palpable. Whether she had intended it or not, Kylo found himself nearly bowled over by a series of images, each charged with anxiety - even terror. He was seeing what she had seen- feeling what she had felt. When she stopped speaking, the barrage of images also ceased, and he stumbled backward, not sure whether he was about to fall over or vomit. He had never even considered what it would have felt like from her vantage point. So obsessed with his mission he had been that the questionable nature of the means to the end had not even crossed his mind. They stood like that for a full minute, just staring at each other, unable to think, let alone speak. Feeling weak, he stretched out an arm to lean against the cave wall, trying to steady his racing heart and rapid breath.

She felt nauseous, and tried desperately to blink back tears. Rey was so overwhelmed by the flood of memories and emotions that had washed over her she barely noticed that Ren had faltered. She fought to push them all away, and as she did, she felt nebulous tendrils snaking through the memories, as if someone else was in her mind. "REN!" She charged toward him. "Get out of my head!" She growled savagely. She was mere inches from him, her nostrils flared, eyes boring into his. "Stay. Away. From. Me." She hissed, and then turned to run down the second passageway, deeper into the system of caves. When she could no longer see at all, she pulled her lightsaber from inside her tunic, ignited it, and proceeded forward, using its dim blue glow until she found a suitable alcove to tuck herself into.


	6. Chapter 6 - Darkness Falls

Authors' note: Lucasfilm and Disney own the characters, we just play with them from time to time. This story was jointly written by DisappointedSon and FeministAwakens on Twitter - we hope you enjoy it!

* * *

Before Ren really knew what was happening, the girl had charged at him like a bull and then taken off down one of the tunnels. He was beginning to recover from the force of the visions that had slammed into his consciousness, and now all he felt was red hot rage. A primal growl rose from the pit of his stomach, and he grabbed his lightsaber from his belt. Unclipping it and igniting the blade in one fluid motion, he gave himself up to the fury coursing through his veins. He smashed the blade of his saber against the wall of the cave, slashing and stabbing as bits of stone and dirt scattered through the air, leaving a series of angry glowing red gashes in the wall. When his rage began to subside, he sheathed his saber and clipped it back on his belt, panting from the exertion and feeling completely lost. _What now?_ He trudged back toward the fire and slumped down to the ground, his head resting in his hands. It must have been getting late by then, and he guessed that the sun would be setting shortly. Moreover, he was exhausted from physical and emotional exertion, and still feeling jaded over Rey's blatant rejection of his attempt at reconciliation, however feeble it may have been. Suddenly, he felt overwhelmingly weary. There was no way the girl would go back out in the snow again, if she intended to survive the night, and he could sense her presence not too far off, so she couldn't have wandered too great a distance. Surely she would come back for her clothes, if nothing else. With this line of reasoning, he poked the fire to make sure it would continue burning, and lay down on the cold earth beneath him, watching the flames dance and writhe to the crackling rhythm it spat out, and before long, he had succumbed to the siren song of sleep.

She had barely sat down when she heard a cacophony coming down the tunnel, from what she could only assume was one of Kylo Ren's famous tantrums. She sat perfectly still as she listened, straining to tell whether it was coming closer to her. When the crashes finally died down, Rey shifted, tucking the cloak, 'His cloak,' she thought angrily, around herself. He had probably worn himself out, she figured. Exhaling slowly, she concluded that she was far too on edge to sleep, and instead settled for meditating. That had been her plan, anyway, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't clear her mind of what had just happened, nor could she suppress the snippets of memories and emotions that were still swirling through her head. She leaned her head back against the rock wall behind her and closed her eyes. She'd had no success meditating, which was becoming a new source of frustration, something she definitely did not need. The alcove she was curled up in wasn't nearly as warm as sitting by the fire had been; though she was sure it wasn't cold enough to do her any harm if she slept there. Still, Rey couldn't relax enough to drift off to sleep. Perhaps because she had grown up in a wide open desert, she didn't care for confined spaces and the pitch-black cave system made her feel claustrophobic. She wondered whether she would feel better in the presence of another person. Sighing at her extremely limited options, and swearing she'd never let him find this out, she got up, flicked on her lightsaber, and made her way back to the cave she had left Ren in. The brief flicker of firelight in the tunnel told her she was close, and she extinguished her saber before entering the room. To her relief, he was already asleep by the fire and she settled directly opposite him before drifting off into a dream.

* * *

His sleep was fitful - punctuated with an amalgamation of memories and imagination woven together into a tapestry of dream.

A young boy is crying, clinging to his mother fiercely. His father is leaving them again, and he doesn't know when they will be together again. His mother holds him tightly - tells him everything will be ok; he will see his father again, but it does little to calm the young child's grief. It must be _his_ fault that his parents fight - _his_ fault that his father leaves so often on extended trips. He buries his face against his mother's chest, tears flowing freely.

...

Older now, Ben is the one leaving. He hugs his mother and shakes his father's hand in farewell, but he can see the fear in their eyes - the constant disapproval. 'Too much Vader in him,' they always said, as if he couldn't hear their words. But Vader had been a great Jedi. What could be so wrong in emulating him? Still, everyone watches him warily, like he is a danger to everyone around him. He's glad to be leaving. Glad to be able to become his own person - to belong to a group of people like himself. Maybe they would understand him as his parents could not...

...

Darkness has fallen. Once again a small child, Ben is being stalked by a creature just out of sight. He clambers through a dense forest, stumbling to his knees and scrambling through the undergrowth. He can hear his pursuer, but he can't see it. Somehow, though, he knows that if he stops running for just a moment, the beast will be on top of him. He can't stop - he needs to keep moving forward, or he will surely die, ripped to pieces. But now he's fallen into a hole! Its pitch black and the walls are closing in on him. He tries to cry out for help, but every time he opens his mouth, his voice is silenced. And then Rey is there. She's holding out her hand to help him out of the pit. He reaches - so close - but she withdraws her hand just before he can reach it. She's backing away now, and kicking loose dirt down into the hole. He's going to be buried alive!

...

The full-grown man, Kylo Ren shot upward, breathless and heart pounding. It had only been a dream. He was still here in this accursed cave. The fire was still burning, but barely. He would need to go and find more wood if he intended to keep it lit until morning.

Only now did it register in his mind that the girl had returned. Lying on the opposite side of the fire, she was fast asleep, the flames casting a soft glow on her delicate features. He sighed, relieved that she had returned of her own free will...and safe.

* * *

Rey had been sleeping peacefully, snuggling deeper into the warm cloak every so often. She was dreaming of a planet with beautiful, rolling grassy fields. As she floated over a sea of green, the fields gave way to a crystalline blue ocean. She sighed softly as she slept, drinking in the exquisite landscape around her. She drifted downward towards the sparkling surface, and flopped backwards into it happily. As she hit the water, she felt a rush of cold around her, and without warning, the ocean was gone. She felt the chilled, sterile metal against her back and clenched her eyes shut tightly. It wasn't necessary for her to open them, she knew where she was. She'd had this dream a few times a week at a minimum for months now. Moving her wrists slightly, she checked that the restraints were indeed where she expected them to be. A door whooshed open, and she let her body go slack. Moments later, she opened her eyes to see him, an arm's length away from her, reaching out to force his way into her mind. "No, please, don't," she begged.

In the cave, Rey tossed and turned as she pleaded with the cloaked figure to leave her alone, to no avail. Her eyelids fluttered as she whispered " _Please_ , no," before falling silent again.

* * *

Ren had been sitting silently by the fire for a few moments, putting off the inevitable task of gathering more wood for the fire, when the girl flinched in her sleep. She was whispering something - pleading. He had to strain to make it out but then he knew. She was dreaming of _him_. Not in a pleasant way, but in a fearful, dreadful way. He sighed heavily with a shake of his head. Perhaps this whole operation had been pointless. Perhaps he was foolish to even have thought that she could see him as anything other than a monster. But the thought that immediately followed, more troubling than the last, was that maybe...just _maybe_ she was _right_ to think so. Once she fell silent again, seemingly asleep, he heaved himself up from the dirt and stone floor and padded off quietly to hunt for more kindling.

Moments later, Rey woke with a start and sat up. Looking around, she noticed that the fire was glowing coals, and Ren was nowhere to be seen. She planted her hands behind her and leaned back, exhaling slowly. She couldn't figure out what had woken her so suddenly. She had been having the same flashback for months; 'or nightmare,' she thought ruefully. But that hadn't been what jolted her from sleep. She reached back to the quickly dissolving remnants of her dream. It had been the same thing as always. She woke up on Starkiller; Ren was there, trying to push his way into her mind. Something had been different though. Her brow knitted in concentration as she searched back for what had changed. She remembered pleading with him to leave her alone; he had looked at her… with a pang of regret. He had stopped. That was it, he had _listened_ to her. She could see it more clearly now – he had looked her over, and instead of pressing on, he had stepped back and acquiesced to her begging. More confused than ever, Rey cast a quick look around the room, and, confirming that Ren was nowhere in sight, pulled on her now dry boots, and rushed towards the entrance of the cave. She wouldn't leave, just needed some perspective, she thought, as the dark, stormy night came into view.

Meanwhile, Ren made his way along the cavern wall, his hand lightly grazing the earthy surface, feeling for roots or other vegetation protruding outward that could be harvested and used for fuel, severing what little he could find with his saber. Suddenly faced with a wall of stone directly ahead, he pulled up abruptly to avoid slamming into it head-on. Turning, he headed back in the direction from whence he had come, and trailed along the opposite wall in the same manner. To his great relief, he found a large chunk of dead tree root jutting out from the cave wall on his return trip. His saber was able to easily slice through the thick woody protrusion, despite its girth. With a smile of satisfaction, he hoisted the wood into his arms and made his way back to the campsite. When he returned, however, he nearly dropped the whole bundle of twigs and roots when he realized the girl was gone. AGAIN. It didn't matter. At this point, he was too tired and confused to be angry. Kneeling beside the glowing embers, he skillfully arranged the fresh firewood, adding one piece at a time until the fire was blazing brightly once more, and adding the final thick log last of all. He grunted quietly, pleased with his work. That should get them through the rest of the night. And first thing in the morning, they would get out of that place!


	7. Chapter 7 - To Kill a Stalking Bird

Authors' note: Lucasfilm and Disney own the characters, we just play with them from time to time. This story was jointly written by DisappointedSon and FeministAwakens - we hope you enjoy it!

* * *

Rey inhaled deeply, letting the shock of the frigid air pull her into the present. She tipped her head back, wishing she could look up at the stars, and resigned herself to instead watching the wind swirl the snow into delicate patterns midair. What had her dream meant? She wondered if Ren had manipulated it to gain her trust, and quickly pushed the idea from her mind. No, she'd have been able to feel his presence if he had done that. It could have been her subconscious showing her what she'd wanted to see, that was possible. Or she could have unknowingly picked up on _his_ feelings and woven them into her dream. That was a distinct possibility; after all, many things about the ways of the Force were still a mystery to her. Letting the cold air whirl around her, she watched it play with the bottom of her cloak, no, _Ren's_ cloak, in the near blackness. As she tried to open herself to the Force, she saw a momentary twinkle of light on the inner wall of the entrance, and realized he must be back and tending to the fire. Not wanting him to come after her _again_ , 'or lord it over me,' she thought bitterly, she trudged back inside. As the cave came into view, she could see him silhouetted by the fire. "Hey," she offered conciliatorily, and sat down a few feet from him, shaking the snow from her cowl.

He stiffened slightly upon hearing her speak. Hey? Was she talking to _him_? Slowly, he lifted his gaze to look up at her. "I thought maybe you'd decided to wander off and freeze after all," he remarked, trying desperately to hide the brokenness he was feeling inside. Something about this girl - about being in close proximity to her - was doing things to him. Strange, unpleasant things. He was usually so sure of himself - so confident in the path he had chosen. This was all for the glory of the First Order. Even more so, he did it for the sacred memory of his Grandfather, Darth Vader. He had slaughtered many Jedi and not thought twice about it. Countless more Resistance soldiers had fallen at his hand. And yet this girl gave him pause - made him doubt the very core of his existence, as if there was a war being waged inside him. It was exhausting. Wearily, he gestured to where Rey's clothes were laid out. "I think your clothes are dry," he said softly. If you want, I'll give you some privacy. He stood to his feet with a groan at the stiffness in his back and legs.

She groaned in response to his comment. "No, I did not plan to go off and freeze to death, sorry I wasn't more helpful." She watched his face grow troubled for a moment, before he gestured to her clothes. Truth be told, his were much warmer, and she'd prefer to continue wearing them. She'd also rather not be alone again at the moment, though she'd never admit that to him. "You- you don't have to go. I'd rather just keep this on for now... Unless you're cold? I'm sorry, I didn't think..."She trailed off and began to remove his cloak from her shoulders.

He shook his head, lifting his hands in a sign of surrender. "No, it's alright. You can keep them... for now." What in the galaxy was happening here? He frowned, realizing he probably looked and sounded ridiculous, and suddenly had an even more ridiculous thought. An image really - of the two of them huddled together by the fire, keeping each other warm. The thought caused him to scream internally, completely alarmed and off-put by the implications. His mouth fell open and he pointedly focused his gaze on the floor. "Let's just get through the night," he said dryly, feeling the blood flowing to his cheeks. Hopefully in the low firelight, she wouldn't be able to see it.

Taking him at his word, Rey pulled the cloak back on. She felt its heft around her, and made a mental note to replace her own worn clothes with something sturdier when she got out of here. As she tucked her legs in to settle in front of the fire, she heard her stomach growl ferociously. 'Blast,' she thought. Hoping some water would appease her for the moment, she slowly stood up, walked to Ren's helmet, and crouched down to take a drink. She felt incredibly shaky as she did so, and immediately dropped to her knees, hoping not to lose her balance. As she tried to steady herself, she began to feel lightheaded as well. Suddenly, an odd, comforting warmth swept over her, so quickly she wondered if she was hallucinating on top of everything else. It had felt like a momentary caress… She glanced at Ren, trying to read his face to see if _he_ had projected that sensation at her, but he was staring intently at the floor.

Noticing the waver in the girl's balance, Ren knelt beside her and placed a steadying hand at the small of her back. The contact jolted him, and he suddenly felt dizzy as well. Or was it just the sudden change in position? Neither of them had eaten for several hours. Once he was assured that she wasn't about to topple into the fire, he removed his hand quickly and fell backward to a seated position. "I'm sorry...I..." he shook his head, "I'm not feeling quite well. I could go and try to find something to eat," he offered, partly because he was hungry, but more because he wanted an excuse to get out of her presence. "Surely there are some edible berries or something on this planet..." he peered at her from behind dark lashes, his face turned downward.

The suggestion that he search for food was a relief to Rey, and she nodded in assent. If she hadn't already been confused by the odd sensations she'd felt moments ago, she certainly was now. Her lower back was smoldering, right where Ren had placed his palm. His touch had sent a shock through her entire body, the brief contact electrifying the air around them. She swallowed nervously as he moved away from her, trying to regain control of the situation, and herself. As the shock ebbed into a static that slowly echoed through her, she suddenly felt incomplete as it dwindled. 'What is happening to me,' she wondered, 'why am I responding this way to _him_?' relieved that the experience seemed to unsettle him enough that he was unable to read her feelings.

Staggering to his feet, Ren nodded in consent and started toward the mouth of the cave. As he reached the opening, he swore under his breath, wishing he'd asked for his hood and cloak before walking in the storm. But being too proud and impatient to go back, he trudged forward, thankful at least that his skin was nearly completely covered by the garments he wore. Bracing himself against the gust of Arctic wind that greeted him, he closed his eyes, focusing his force energy to create an energy shield around himself, blocking some small measure of the wind and snow. Never having visited this planet before, his best guess on the location of something edible was the wooded area through which he had hiked to cut off the girl's straighter path when he'd first arrived. Taking a deep breath, he pressed on into the forest, in search of anything remotely resembling food.

As the tall, shadowy form that was Kylo Ren disappeared down the corridor, Rey remained on her knees in front of the flames, struggling to breathe normally. The sudden loss of his presence left her feeling as if the wind had been knocked out of her, for no apparent reason. It _had_ to be some sort of ephemeral connection that would fade, though she couldn't explain how it had occurred. Forcing herself to rise, she stared down the passageway he had taken and realized that he had headed toward the forest. She had assumed he was going further into the cave system, not back out into the howling storm. For a brief moment, she thought about going after him, but realized her Force abilities weren't on par with his, much as she might like to believe they were, and that would only end badly for her. Unwilling to sit idly until he came back, she got up, pulling her saber from her belt as she stood. She flicked it on, hearing it purr to life as it cast a blue glow around the room. If he had found enough wood to keep the fire burning for this long, there must be plants deeper in the caves, she surmised, and set off to look for them.

Reaching the peak of the hill he'd been climbing, Ren paused to catch his breath and take a look around. The snow swirled around him in gusts and eddies, and it was still falling copiously enough that it was difficult to see very far in any direction. He let out of sigh, and watched as the moisture from his breath crystalized mid-air. He was just about to despair of ever finding something to eat, when he heard a soft sound coming from the undergrowth not far from his feet. It took all his energy, but he calmed his mind and focused on the source of the sound. It was a living energy - an animal scurrying through the snow-covered brush, probably looking for warmth. Stretching out his hand in the direction of the sound, he knit his brow and willed the creature out of hiding. After a moment, a large ground-dwelling bird similar to a quail or wild turkey, emerged from the snowy undergrowth, paralyzed by the force, but levitating in his direction. There was terror in the creature's eyes, but Kylo steeled himself against compassion or mercy. The gnawing ache in the pit of his stomach has no trouble overwhelming any remorse he might have felt at killing an innocent creature. Summoning the fowl to within feet of where he stood, the force wielder quickly flicked his wrist, and the bird's neck snapped; it was instantly dead. Panting softly from the exertion of force energy, he walked over to where the animal lay half buried in the snow, crouched down, and picked it up. The energy he'd expended in making the kill had weakened his defense against the cold and wind, and he shivered, but soon was able to replace the shield around him and trudged - more quickly now - back to the cave with his prize in tow.

Back in the cave, a small pile of sage green leaves and stems sat beside Rey as she took a delicate sip of the icy water from Kylo's helmet. She had collected all of the vegetation that looked edible, and upon returning to find him still gone, had refilled his helmet with fresh snow. She didn't suppose he'd mind, any damage had already been done by the first batch. Her stomach clenched, and she briefly considered eating the plants she'd gathered without waiting for him, but thought better of it. She had no idea if they were poisonous, though she didn't see how Ren could help clear that up. She stifled a snort at the thought of using him as a guinea pig to determine whether they were safe to eat. Not hearing any noise to indicate his presence, she curled up to take a nap and wait for him to return. As she stared into the fire, she realized she had no way of knowing how long he'd been gone or even if he _was_ coming back, and she felt a sinking feeling as it registered that he very well might not be coming back. 'Not that I should be upset about that,' she chided herself.

Slowly but surely, Ren made his way back to the cave where he and Rey had taken shelter, carrying the bird under one arm. Even though it had been dark outside, the interior of the cave was darker still - no moonlight illuminated the tunnels. With his free hand, Kylo engaged his lightsaber, holding it out in front of him to light the way, until he came in view of the small camp fire, and the scavenger girl lying next to it. A cursory glance also revealed a small pile of herbs on the ground, and in a moment of panic, he recognized one of the leaves as darkkoninn. If she had found and eaten the berries that typically grew on this plant- In a moment of panic, he dropped the bird on the ground and rushed over to her, kneeling beside her, only to realize that she was indeed alive, but only sleeping. With a sigh of relief, he slumped the rest of the way to the cave floor next to her, utterly exhausted.


	8. Chapter 8 - How to Cook Wild Game

Authors' note: Lucasfilm and Disney own the characters, we just play with them from time to time. This story was jointly written by DisappointedSon and FeministAwakens - we hope you enjoy it!

* * *

A sudden thump somewhere near her head startled Rey awake, and she flinched. Slightly disoriented, she peered around the cave, hoping not to draw attention to herself, until her eyes landed on Ren, flopped on the ground mere inches away from her. He must have just come in, she thought, and sat up. When he didn't immediately move, she nudged him gently with her fingertips. "Hey." Nothing. " _Hey_ , are you alright?" she inquired more forcefully, and gave him an extra jab for good measure.

He lifted his head groggily, looking around. Had he really lost consciousness? Perhaps the cold had affected him more than he'd realized. Scrambling to a sitting position, he nodded. 'Yes, I'm fine. I just..." he pointed to the pile of leaves next to them. "Did you find any berries? That leaf there - it belongs to the Darkkoninn plant. The berries are poisonous." Even as he asked the question, he knew she couldn't have eaten the berries, or she would be violently ill, if not already dead. Gesturing toward the dead bird he'd dropped on the ground, he said, "I found something for us to eat. We'll have to cook it, but it should have plenty of meat on it."

She leaned over and made a retching noise before straightening up, a smirk spreading across her face. "I know better than to eat a strange plant on a strange planet. You don't really think I'm _that_ stupid, do you?" She peered over the fire at an ambiguous lump on the ground. " _You're_ going to cook _that_?" she queried, amused at the idea. There was no way this tempestuous man cooked anything, much less had any idea what to do with an entire animal before cooking it.

"I - uh -" He hadn't even thought about the preparation that would have to take place in order to cook the bird. "I guess I was hoping you could help..." Once more he felt a blush creep up his neck. If Rey had been afraid of him before, she certainly wouldn't be after this night. "Do you know how to prepare a bird for roasting?" he asked hopefully.

He had to be joking. She looked back at him like he had suddenly grown a second head. "When in my life do you think I've had a bird to roast or a place to roast it?" She asked incredulously. "Do you think AT-ATs come with gourmet kitchens? Do you think this is a skill I magically possess because I'm a woman?"

He gaped at her, taken off guard by her response. "I only thought, since you'd been on your own for so long...you might have more knowledge about such things than I..." Realizing it was a losing battle, he shook his head and moved to pick up the bird. "There can't be too much to it, right? I mean, we've got the fire..." He held up the dead animal and looked it over. "I guess I'll pluck the feathers." He sat down and got to work on the bird, wishing he could use the force to remove all the feathers at once, but ultimately deciding that the attempt might end in the creature being splattered all over the cave walls, rather than neatly plucked and prepped for roasting. He grumbled under his breath as he worked, complaining about ungrateful women.

His brief reasoning on how to prepare the bird solidified Rey's suspicion that he had no idea what he was doing, and still hadn't thought it through properly. As he began to whine about doing the work, her temper began to rise. She hadn't intended to start _another_ fight with him, but she couldn't help herself. If anyone knew about being ungrateful it was this man, she thought, glowering through the fire at him. He'd grown up with everything she'd ever dreamed of and had thrown it away. She had tried appropriately hard to bite her tongue, she reassured herself, and this wasn't something she could let go. She clenched her jaw tighter as she continued to scowl at him, and couldn't restrain herself any longer. "What do _you_ know about ungrateful women?" she spat at him accusingly.

Reflexively he closed his eyes at her verbal assault. His patience, like hers, was wearing thin, and he briefly considered force pushing her back against the wall and leaving her there, gagged. But since he'd already come so far in trying to win her trust, he knew that would be counterproductive. Instead, he leveled a fiery glare in her direction and said, "Do you _really_ believe the things you're saying? You think my life has been all sunshine and sweets? You have _no_ idea what my life has been like, or what I've been through. I have made choices that you disagree with, yes. But that does not give you the right to pass judgement on me." He looked down at his hands to see that he'd accidentally severed a leg and thigh off the rest of the bird in his anger." Sighing, he forced his temper back down. "I am doing the best I can here," he admitted weakly, then added, "I'm sorry if I don't stand up to the legendary Han Solo in your estimation. Spending 24 hours with my father does not make you an expert on the man."

For one brief, petrifying moment, she had felt a blazing fury radiating off him and she was certain she was about to be on the receiving end of a particularly unpleasant Force assault, but, just as quickly, the feeling passed. She blinked, still rigid in anticipation of an attack. She didn't understand why she seemed increasingly cognizant of his feelings, but it was becoming apparent that she was. Though he seemed to subdue himself, she couldn't. "It's not about him," she shot back through gritted teeth. "You have a family, even if they aren't perfect. And they _still_ love you, even after everything you've done." 'And my family never cared enough to come back for me,' she thought forlornly, far too proud to ever admit that to him.

Her words hit a nerve - his family -his mother. He had tried for years to close himself off from his mother, to disconnect himself from his past. Han Solo had been one thing - and difficult enough - but he could never completely turn away from Leia. The wince he felt internally was mirrored outwardly on his face, and he knew there was no point in even trying to hide it. Looking downward, he said softly, "I know." He took a deep breath before continuing. "Look. I know that I have not been the type of person you choose to call a friend. I have done things that I'm not proud of. I've...hurt...people." His brow furrowed as he chose his words carefully. "You may find it difficult to believe, but I do not take pleasure in causing others pain. I do what I do because I _have_ to." He hazarded a look at Rey, trying to gauge her reaction. With a subtle shake of his head, he continued, "I know that it's too late for me. My mother could not forgive me for what I've done."

Whatever she had been expecting from him - cold fury, yelling, the destruction of a wall with his lightsaber - was certainly _not_ the scene unfolding before her now. He looked hurt, tormented even, by the thought of his mother, Leia. Her stomach knotted as she thought of the General. Rey could only dream of the woman she so admired caring for her the way she cared for her son, and she had half a mind to tell him that. As she kept her eyes fixed on him though, the anguish written across his face was so great that she thought better of it. She didn't have to like him, and she certainly didn't have to comfort him, but she couldn't kick the man when he was already down. "Sorry," she apologized, and forced a small smile that felt almost mocking under the circumstances. "Let's just forget I brought it up and focus on cooking something."

"Right..." he dropped his gaze back to the bird in his hands. He'd nearly forgotten all about it, with the flood of memory and emotion that had washed over him in the preceding moments. He finished plucking the feathers in brooding silence. When he had finished, he looked up to Rey with a small but triumphant smile. For the first time since they'd been stranded in this snow storm, he felt like something he'd attempted had gone to plan. "Now, we just need a way to prop it over the fire." He looked around for a long stick or something that could be used.

She plopped back down on the ground after he conceded to her suggestion. She watched him continue to prepare the bird, and noticed as he wrinkled his brow in concentration. This was the perfect time to explore the phenomenon she'd noticed earlier; his attention was focused on the task at hand, and he wasn't pausing to look up at her. She had been pondering the apparent link between the two of them, and, keeping an eye on Ren, she relaxed and opened herself to the Force. She let her consciousness melt into it and reached out to his mind, hoping not to alert him to her presence. As she drifted closer to it, her connection was suddenly severed by his voice. Cursing internally, she realized he was discussing the task of _cooking_ the bird, not castigating her for venturing near his consciousness. With great effort, she concentrated on the words he was saying. 'Of course,' she thought, 'he's talking about how to cook the thing.' Calmed by his seeming ignorance to what she had just attempted, she looked back at him and was surprised to catch a glimpse of a smile. "I can go look– there was a lot of vegetation further in the caves, I'm sure there's something we can use there."

He could sense a brief moment of panic in the girl, but it faded quickly, and he didn't dwell on it, still being quite satisfied with his success in removing the feathers from the bird he'd caught. "You know..." He started thoughtfully, "it was wise of you to look for vegetation in the cave. I should have thought of that myself." He studied the pile of leaves that lay next to him. "Some of these I do not recognize," he said hesitantly. "But some I do know. And I think we could use some of them to season the bird." Suddenly an idea occurred to him and he scrambled to his feet. "Wait a minute," he exclaimed. "I have a better idea!" A cursory glance around the cave revealed bits of stone scattered around the cave floor, from when he'd taken his frustration out on the cave wall earlier. If he could find one just the right shape... Finding a slightly arced flat piece of stone, he picked it up and displayed it proudly. "We can use this like a baking dish!" he winced at the sound of his own voice. He hadn't been so excited about a rock since he'd been a child.

She tried, and failed, to stifle a giggle at his sudden enthusiasm about cooking. She immediately regretted it though, hoping he didn't think she was judging him. Her amusement had been genuine, driven mostly by his uncharacteristic excitement. 'And,' she thought selfishly, 'I don't want him so angry at me that he refuses to let me eat some of it.' Struggling to come up with a way to show she hadn't meant it maliciously, Rey reached out and levitated the stone a few inches out of his hands. "You sure about that?" she inquired, her voice bubbling with laughter. "It doesn't seem like that one wants to cooperate with you."

He scowled at Rey when she tried to choke back her giggle, but his joy over the promise of food to come outweighed his chagrin, and his frown turned into a wide grin. When she levitated the rock out of his hands, he couldn't stifle his own laughter. "Hey~" he retorted, grabbing the stone back out of the air. For the first time since they'd gotten stuck in the cave, they shared a moment of camaraderie, and it felt...good! Suddenly feeling self-conscious, Kylo cleared his throat and turned his attention back to the task at hand. "I think we should cut it up," he said, studying the large fowl. "It will cook more evenly and quickly that way." He took out his lightsaber and very carefully sliced through the bird separating the portions of meat, and then arranged them on the stone with a few of the herbs Rey had found. "Would you like to do the honors?" He asked, gesturing toward the meat on the stone dish. "We can just place it in the fire."

Rey rewarded his laughter with a brilliant smile of her own, and was about to snatch the stone back out of his hands when his demeanor abruptly changed, breaking the spell. She was about to offer him the small dagger she kept strapped to her waist at all times, but he had already begun to cut up the meat with his lightsaber. She dropped her hand, chiding herself for nearly revealing her hidden weapon. As she watched him carefully manipulate the glowing blade, she wondered if the cheerful young man she had just seen wasn't a glimpse at Ben Solo, and she felt a pang of sadness, remembering Leia. Drawn back to the present by the fizzling of a retracting lightsaber, she paused for a moment and answered him with an "Of course," and a small smile. Concentrating hard, she slowly suspended the slab in midair, floated it over the fire and set it down ever so gently amidst the flames. She'd been practicing levitating objects with Master Luke, and though he hadn't pushed her hard so far, she'd worked on the skill for many hours on her own, and couldn't deny that she was a little pleased with the opportunity to show it off.

He was duly impressed with her use of the force to move objects. Nodding his approval, he offered a half grin as the meat was lowered into the flames. "Very good," he said sincerely, turning his gaze onto her. They had shared a moment of connection- as equals - not mortal enemies. It was a strange feeling, letting his defenses down. It terrified him, but also electrified him. He let his eyes wander over her face and down her body, which was mostly obscured by his very large robes, and once again he wondered about her identity. He'd spent hours contemplating who she could have been, and he was almost certain that he knew the answer. But there was only one way to be sure - to access her memories. And he was pretty sure she would not willingly allow him to do that. Dropping his gaze to the ground and then to the flames licking at the glistening poultry, he lowered himself to sit by the fire again. "Why don't you come and sit with me?" he asked, looking back up at Rey.

A swell of pride rose in Rey's chest at the affirmation coming from the young man before her. She wasn't sure why she wanted his approval, and even less why it evoked such a positive reaction in her, but any reflection on that was cut short as he turned towards her. She squirmed under his piercing stare, shifting uncomfortably as his gaze traveled downward, leaving a burning sensation in its wake. She flushed, embarrassed both by his undivided attention and her response to it, and incredibly thankful that she had elected to keep on his long cloak, which concealed the lines and curves of her body from him. She let out a soft sigh of relief as he finished his appraisal of her and directed his focus elsewhere, and was caught off guard by the suggestion that she sit with him. She watched him warily for a moment before giving him a slight nod; she wandered within a few feet of him before settling down near the fire and turning to face him, her brow cocked in a questioning manner.

He offered a soft smile as Rey sat down next to him. Years of discipline in the ways of the force had trained him to set aside personal attachments. Although it was not forbidden for training Sith to take a lover - or several lovers – he had always considered entanglement with the opposite sex to be a distraction at best, or a weakness. Always he was keenly aware of his grandfather's errors in judgement. Sentiment had been his undoing. Besides, there weren't many females on board the Finalizer or on Starkiller Base, and there had been no one who had really caught his attention. At least not until now. The realization hit him like a ton of bricks, causing his stomach to twist in knots. This girl who had nearly killed him, had worked her way under his skin, and it terrified him. He looked into her eyes, trying to gauge how much of his thoughts she could discern, but his mind was so clouded by the dense fog of emotion settling over him that he couldn't be sure. "Um..." he sputtered, voice quiet, "You've been training. I'm impressed." He shifted awkwardly. "I assume you've been with my Uncle." He was grasping for straws with this conversation, but his mind had gone suddenly blank.

When he caught her gaze, Rey watched his eyes cloud over, as if he was preoccupied with pressing matters. As they sat in uneasy silence, she began to feel a tumultuous energy radiating off him, building in intensity until it poured into the space around them. She wondered whether the turmoil raging within him was about his family. She was haunted by a family she couldn't even remember, and she could only imagine the anguish he felt turning his back on the parents and relatives who had loved and cared for him for so many years. Her suspicions were seemingly confirmed as he asked about his uncle. She was sure he already knew the answer; there was no one else in the galaxy left to teach her, and she responded with an inelegant "Yeah… um, yes." For a moment, she concerned telling him that Luke missed him, and she could tell that he thought of his nephew daily. She immediately thought better of it before breaking eye contact and pointedly staring at the rapidly browning meat still sitting in the fire, hoping his end game would become clear if he continued speaking.

He nodded. It had been a silly question since, to his knowledge, there were no other surviving Jedi beyond Luke. Still focusing his gaze on the fire, he pressed on. "Rey...I know you can't remember your family. I've seen your mind. I know...the pain you've felt in their absence." He paused, fiddling awkwardly with his hands. When he spoke again, it was softly, and he brought his gaze up to meet hers. "I could help you...remember. The memories are there. They just need to be unlocked."

His first comment about her family had caused Rey to stiffen and blink back a few tears. By the end of his proposal, she felt slightly nauseous and was desperately attempting to rebuild the emotional walls she had put in place over the last fifteen years of her life. How could he have known she was thinking of her family? She hadn't felt his presence in her thoughts, and she certainly hadn't felt the telltale discomfort that accompanied his previous attempts to force his way into her mind. 'Probably just a lucky guess,' she tried to reassure herself. In truth, it was her biggest weakness, which she had known even before Luke has gently pointed it out to her. She'd be damned if she was going to open up to the Master of the Knights of Ren about this. "I don't know what you're talking about," she intoned flatly, looking away again. "Look, the food's done, I'll just take it out and we can have something to eat before we go to sleep."


	9. Chapter 9 - Sacrifice

Authors' note: Lucasfilm and Disney own the characters, we just play with them from time to time. This story was jointly written by DisappointedSon and FeministAwakens - we hope you enjoy it!

* * *

Rey's retort felt like a slap in the face, and Kylo hoped the chagrin he felt was not plain on his face. "Right," he said shortly, turning his attention back to the meat on the fire. He'd known there was little chance of the girl being receptive to his offer to help retrieve her memories, but that didn't keep him from feeling the sharp sting of rejection. Without another word, he twisted his wrist and sent the now-sizzling meat and stone dish floating up in the air. He allowed it to hover for a moment in the air before setting it down rather forcefully on the ground between them. His wounded pride tempted him to walk away, claiming not to be hungry, but his growling stomach eventually won the battle of wills, and he picked up a leg quarter, biting off a large piece of meat.

Relieved that he seemed to be dropping the subject, at least for the moment, she let her gaze follow the slate out of the fire and toward him as he set it down in front of himself with more than a tinge of annoyance. She watched as he grabbed a piece for himself, and leaned over to pick up the other leg, immediately dropping it with a yelp. "Ouch!" She exclaimed, before sucking gently on the pads of her thumb, index and ring fingers. "It's burning hot, how're you eating that?"

He shrugged and took another bite. "When you've endured a laser crossbow blast to the side and had your face sliced in two what's a little grease burn?" Truthful, it _did_ hurt, but he was too stubborn to admit it, and too busy brooding over her rejection of his offer to pay it much mind anyway. He put the meat down and snuck a glance at Rey. "Are you actually going to sleep tonight? With a _monster_ in the room?" He winced at the sound of his own words. Why did he have to say things like that? He knew it made him sound childish, But he couldn't seem to help himself.

Shaking his head, he mumbled "I'm sorry." He was completely out of his element here, alone with an attractive woman. Briefly the thought floated through his mind that if he wanted to, he could take advantage of the situation. But he immediately put the thought aside as repellant. Even if he did want her in that way (did he?) he would not demand it. Pressing into someone's mind to obtain information was one thing - a means to an end. Forcing ones' self on another in a physical way was entirely different, and he would not even entertain the idea. Feeling completely flustered and frustrated, he picked up his food and continued eating in silence.

The firelight played across his brooding face, and Rey felt her stomach lurch as her eyes traveled down the long, thin scar that ran from the middle of his forehead, down past the inner corner of his eye, and ended near his jawline. She felt an uncomfortable pang of guilt when she realized she had narrowly missed his eye. Her sympathetic feelings were quickly dashed, however, as he snarled the hypothetical question at her, and she unconsciously tensed as she felt a barrage of his emotions that she couldn't identify. "I never called you that," she said quietly, shaking her head and staring into her lap. "If I was that scared of you, I would have already run away. You haven't hurt me yet, and you 've had more than a few opportunities to…" She stopped short of saying that she trusted him, not wanting him to sense any deceit on her part. She was confident enough that he wouldn't harm her, at least not right now, but she didn't trust him, and she didn't want to give him a reason to mistreat her.

He felt her gaze travel down the length of the scar that traversed his face - the scar that _she_ had given him. It could have been his imagination, but he thought he felt it prickle uncomfortably under the weight of her scrutiny. Absently, he reached up to touch the line it made with his fingertips. He grunted in response to her statement, too tired and sulky to bother reminding her that she had indeed called him a monster that fateful day. Instead, he turned his focus to the food they were eating. "This is not half bad," he said, hoping to lift the tension that had been building. "I don't know what kind of bird this is, but it tastes pretty good." Discarding the bone from the piece he'd just finished, he reached down for another piece.

She watched him trace his finger down the healed wound with a tenderness she didn't know he possessed, but it was instantaneously replaced by a much more characteristic scowl. Dreading spending the rest of the time with their interactions so strained, she jumped at his awkward attempt to change the subject, nodding in agreement as she reached for another piece once he'd withdrawn his own hand. "I didn't expect it to be at all appetizing," she replied between bites. "No offense to your cooking skills, of course." She tried to wipe her fingers off on a nearby rock, not wanting to get his cloak dirty, and planted her hands behind her, shifting her weight and leaning back slightly. "Then again," she said with a slight smirk "Maybe I'm just starving, and it actually wasn't that good at all."

Ren couldn't help but smile at her jab, relieved that she was also willing to set aside their differences in order to make the night pass more smoothly. He rolled his eyes in an obviously over-dramatic fashion. "Oh please. It was _delectable_!" He returned with a grin. And then an odd sensation washed over him. Mental images forced their way into his mind's eye - memories of when he was very young, and helping his mother in the kitchen. They had the finances to hire others to do all of that for them, and indeed they did employ servants. But Leia had enjoyed cooking, and young Ben had enjoyed helping. Idly, he wondered whether his mother still did her own cooking. The memory of her sent a shooting pain straight to his heart, and he inhaled sharply.

He looked at Rey, who was watching him, obviously curious about what was going through his mind. His inner defenses screamed at him to shut down. (Don't let her in! She will make you vulnerable and weak!) And yet, he found that never in his life had he wanted so badly to open himself up to another person. In that moment of wild abandon, Kylo Ren chose to do the most daring and reckless thing imaginable - he let down his defenses. "My mother taught me some basic cooking skills," he said with a new softness in his voice and expression. His pulse quickened, afraid of being rebuffed once more.

"I – I didn't know that," she stammered, caught off guard by the sudden vulnerability he was displaying. "She cooks for me whenever we're together." She paused, careful to not reveal where exactly that was. "She says she's trying to catch me up on eating home cooked meals, since I didn't get any for such a long time…" Rey trailed off, remembering the warmth and fragrances of the kitchen as meals simmered on the stove or baked in the oven, and how safe and _at home_ she had felt being there with Leia. "The General's a wonderful cook," she said finally, "Maybe you do have a few cooking skills after all." She offered him a forlorn smile, preoccupied by the thought that she might never make it back to cook another meal with Leia.

The sudden longing shocked him - the longing to see his mother again - to feel the warmth of her embrace and hear her say the she loved him. His lips turned downward and he blinked back the tears stinging his eyes. He looked away, ashamed of showing such weakness to the girl sitting opposite him, but he knew she would be able to sense the emotion coming off him even if she couldn't see it. He shook his head and forced a smile. "I do have some happy memories, you know," he mumbled, feeling embarrassed. Looking back over at Rey, his eyes widened as he sensed her feelings. "You... _care_ for her, too." He didn't know why this was surprising to him, but it was. Unsettling even. He grunted softly. "No doubt, she is more proud of you than she ever was of me."

She could feel his sadness even after he turned away from her, though she was no longer surprised by the emotional connection. She hadn't really thought of him having happy memories from childhood; in truth, she hadn't ever considered him _having_ a childhood. The little she knew about him came from hushed comments made when Leia wasn't around, and even then, it was only about his fall from the light. She did know that the General missed him terribly, though she'd never told Rey that.

When he turned back to face her, she was surprised to see how much he looked like a confused, hurt young man, rather than the cold, calculating, evil knight she always thought of him as. "I – yes," she said quickly. Of course she cared for Leia. The older woman was the closest thing Rey had ever had to a parent, as far as she could remember. As she said this, though, she could see the hurt in his eyes; he missed her immensely, she realized, somewhat shocked as it dawned on her. Rey hadn't thought he was capable of feeling that way. Hesitantly, she reached out and put her small hand on his knee, gently rubbing a small circular motion with the pad of her thumb and looked slightly up, into his eyes. "I'm sorry, Ren," she murmured. The name felt awkward on her tongue; she certainly wasn't going to call him Kylo, that was far too intimate, but _Ren_ had felt so – she paused, trying to figure out why exactly it was so strained – standoffish, that was it. Almost as if she was trying to keep her distance.

The sudden contact took him by surprise, and reflexively his hand shot out, grabbing her by the wrist. Immediately regretting such a display of panicked need to dominate, he relaxed his grip, allowing his long fingers to unfurl and slide gently down the back of her hand, coming to rest on top of it. His eyes flicked from their hands up to her face, and he was suddenly overcome by the urge to lean in and kiss her. His cheeks flushed crimson, and he quickly turned his attention back downward, patting her hand congenially, as if that had been his intention all along. "It's alright," he said with faltering breath. "I made my decision long ago." As if that somehow made the ache in his heart alright. "We all make sacrifices for what we believe in." Slowly, he drew his hand back from hers, but he hated doing it.


	10. Chapter 10 - A Long Winter's Nap

Authors' note: Lucasfilm and Disney own the characters, we just play with them from time to time. This story was jointly written by DisappointedSon and FeministAwakens - we hope you enjoy it!

* * *

She'd flinched when he grabbed her wrist, dread coursing through her body. Nearly as quickly however, he'd slackened his grip, merely resting his hand on hers. As he looked back up at her a strange warmth cascaded over her, and she watched his cheeks redden; she was sure the sensation had originated from him, but as she curiously peered back at him, he quickly dropped his gaze once more. She continued to stare at him as he finished speaking. "You – you really believe that? You think you're fighting for a _cause_?" she asked, still bewildered and preoccupied by what had just transpired between them.

Looking back up to meet her gaze, he shrugged. "Well, yes. Why else would I align myself with the First Order?" He picked up a stick and poked at the fire. "The Republic was corrupt - the old _and_ the new. The masses are not capable of governing themselves, and the Senate makes a mockery of justice. The First Order will bring peace and, well, _order_ to the galaxy." It was the line he'd rehearsed in his mind - often enough that he truly believed it. Looking back to Rey now, though, he felt a pang of doubt. Frowning, he added, "I've come too far to believe anything else. I've made a commitment - to the First Order, to the Supreme Leader..." He could hear the uncertainty in his own voice, but he hoped, probably in vain, that she would not.

Her body was still smoldering from whatever had passed between them, but that didn't stop her from snorting in response to his slightly less than impassioned defense of the First Order. "And _you_ don't make a mockery of justice?" She queried, incredulous. Not pausing to wait for an answer, Rey continued; "No, I suppose a group that wouldn't inconvenience itself with any concept of justice in the first place doesn't bother to put on a façade of observing it." She had wanted to ask why _he_ was somehow better suited to lead than any in the Senate. Was it, perhaps, that his mother had been an Imperial Senator? She doubted he had seen the irony in the situation, though it was plain as day to her.

He sighed, shaking his head. How had the conversation turned this way? He didn't want to fight anymore, and yet he couldn't just leave it at that point. "It is not I who will lead. I am merely a soldier in this battle. Supreme Leader Snoke will be the one to lead the Galaxy into a new age of governance and prosperity." He watched the glowing fire before them. It was still burning brightly, but the flames were lower than they had been an hour earlier, and he realized with a shudder that it would probably burn out by morning. He briefly considered suggesting they bundle together for warmth, but immediately knew that Rey would have no part of that. "We should probably try to get some sleep," he simply said. "With any luck, the storm will have passed by morning, and we can get out of here."

"Snoke?" she scoffed. A little voice told her to drop it, but avoiding arguments with Kylo Ren was apparently not her strong suit. "Snoke is nothing more than a power hungry dictator. He's brainwashed all of his officers into following him; I'm rather surprised he managed to do the same to you." As soon as the words slipped off her tongue, she knew it was a mistake. 'What does it really matter though?' she thought. 'Either he's already been indoctrinated and my comment won't matter to him, or he can still think for himself, and it might make him think.' She yawned, then said flatly "Anyways, I'm going to sleep."

"Right. Sleep," he agreed with a nod. Her words about Leader Snoke had resonated with him, but he was too tired and drained both emotionally and physically, to discuss the matter any further. Her declaration of intent to go to sleep only sealed the deal. In truth, he'd started questioning the Supreme Leader shortly after the destruction of Starkiller Base. Ren had done everything Snoke had asked of him. _Everything._ And yet he did not feel any more at peace than when he'd first turned to the Dark Side. His father's last words rang through his memory often: "Snoke is using you for your power. When he gets what he wants, he'll crush you." Even then, deep down he knew it was true, but he'd fought the idea. As time went by, though, it was becoming harder and harder to refute. There was hardly a night that went by that he was not visited by Han Solo in his dreams. Whether it was the ghost of his father or his own conscience speaking to him, he never knew. Kylo sighed, lost in his thoughts. Bringing himself back to the present, he glanced at Rey. "We should probably sleep in close proximity… for warmth. You can keep my robes for the night if you wish."

She was about to protest when she realized he was probably right. She wasn't freezing, but she certainly wasn't warm, and it wasn't safe to sleep too close to the fire, especially in robes. "Oh, alright," she huffed. "But don't try anything when I'm asleep." She grimaced inwardly as she said it, hearing the innuendo behind it. 'Obviously not what I meant,' she thought. Resigning herself to spending the rest of the night uncomfortably close to him, she got up and walked over to the pile of her dry clothes. She collected them and returned to where he was sitting, offering him half of them. "I assume you'll want a pillow," she explained, folding her own in two. She lay with her back against the ground, ramrod straight, as she stared at the ceiling and waited for him to sprawl out next to her.

His lips twitched into a smile at her words. "Don't try anything?" he teased, tempted to remind her of the line he'd recited during her interrogation - 'you know I can take whatever I want.' But he decided reminding her of that experience would be counterproductive on a number of levels, so he kept his amusement private. "Don't worry. I will keep my hands to myself," he assured her, taking the clothes she'd handed him and wrapping them into a cylindrical shape. The ground was cold and hard, and the pampered pet of the Supreme Leader was not used to sleeping in such conditions, but there was no other option, so he lay down next to Rey with his back to her, tucking his legs up towards his belly in an attempt to conserve as much body warmth possible. It was awkward at first, sleeping so close to another person - much more so, considering that person was an attractive member of the opposite sex. But with a little effort, he was able to calm his mind and, just before closing his eyes he whispered, "Goodnight, Rey."

Her face burned at his teasing, and she flushed an even deeper shade at his assurances that he'd behave. She had half a mind to tell him that hadn't been what she meant, but as soon as she opened her mouth to say that, he had laid down, back to her. He was so close she could feel his body heat warming the air near her, but true to his word, they had absolutely no physical contact. "Goodnight Ren," she murmured, though she doubted that he heard her. His body relaxed and his breathing slowed as he fell asleep. Rey, on the other hand, lay wide awake, flinching at ever crackle from the fire or soft whisper of air. She grew more tired but still, her conscious would not release her. A rustle of fabric as Ren shifted in his sleep drew her attention to him, and in her late night delirium, she went so far as to draw her lightsaber from her robes and consider ending his life right there, freeing her from this struggle. As she clenched the hilt, reason won out, and she relaxed, letting it slip from her hand to the ground by her leg. She began to probe the sudden impulse to stab him as he had his father, when finally slumber overtook her. She slept fitfully, adjusting her cloak and tossing and turning in an unconscious effort to sleep peacefully.

Kylo Ren awoke to a dark cavern. The fire, that had been burning brightly earlier, had now devoured the majority of the wood he'd found, leaving only a core of glowing embers remaining. He couldn't tell whether it was morning yet, since the entrance to the cave wasn't visible from where they lay, but judging by the state of the fire, he knew several hours must have passed from when they had first lain down. 'Rey!' he thought, twisting to make sure she was still lying next to him. Sure enough, she was there, fast asleep. In the low glow from what was left of the fire, he could barely make out her silhouette. Her chest rose and fell with deep steady breaths, and from time to time, her eyes fluttered behind closed eyelids, indicating that she was dreaming. Rolling over to fully face her, the young knight propped himself on one elbow, resting his head in his hand. Now that she was asleep, he did not feel self-conscious looking at her, and he allowed himself the indulgence of simply watching her sleep for a few moments. She looked so peaceful, and beautiful, in an innocent, unspoiled purity, and he marveled at home a girl, abandoned by her family on such a harsh plant as Jakku, could maintain any semblance of innocence. Yet here she lay. Her hair, mostly pulled back in a series of buns, was fringed with fluttery wisps that kissed her face while she slept. Slowly and steadily, he reached out and gently brushed a lock of hair from her face and behind her ear, before pushing himself up into a seated position. Whether it was morning or not, he'd might as well get up.


	11. Chapter 11 - Perchance to Dream

Authors' note: Lucasfilm and Disney own the characters, we just play with them from time to time. This story was jointly written by DisappointedSon and FeministAwakens - we hope you enjoy it!

* * *

As she slipped into a deeper sleep, Rey began to dream. She was somewhere dark and cold when it started; for a moment, she thought that it was her recurring nightmare and resigned herself to reliving it again. As it continued, however, she realized she was lying on something soft, covered by a heavy blanket and wrapped in someone's arms. Sighing happily, she snuggled deeper into the person's embrace, enjoying the coziness. As she rolled over to see who it was, the mysterious person abruptly disappeared, leaving Rey alone and confused in a large bed. In the cave, she whimpered softly and tucked her knees to her chest, attempting to compensate for the perceived loss of contact. Back in her dream, Rey sat straight up and looked around the unknown bedroom for her vanishing partner. Seeing no one, she leaned back in the bed, a tear running down her cheek. She should have known, she thought bitterly. No one had ever cared for her before, why would this time be any different?

Moments after he had turned his back on the sleeping girl, Kylo heard a soft, mournful sound coming from behind him. Looking over his shoulder, he realized that Rey was whimpering in her sleep. 'She must be dreaming,' he thought, and his first instinct was to comfort her. Once again bewildered by his own feelings, he shook his head. The _last_ thing Rey would want would be to wake up in the arms of Kylo Ren - she'd probably think he was trying to strangle her or something equally ridiculous. Still, her distress was infiltrating his own defenses, and he reached over to gently shake her by the shoulder. Leaning in - not _too_ close - he whispered, "Shhh...Rey...wake up. You're dreaming. Shhh... It's only a dream, wake up..." Surprised by the words coming out of his own mouth, he wondered when the last time had been that anyone had said such things to him. Surely it must have been as a child; he often had nightmares, and Leia was never too far to comfort him and rock him back to sleep. Giving Rey one final nudge, he said, "I think its morning. We made it through the night!"

Curling away from the intruder, Rey mumbled an inaudible comment about leaving her alone. She was still dreaming, and the unknown person had just returned and was trying to wake her. "Go away. I don't want to see you anymore," she was saying, when she felt a strong hand softly cup her shoulder. She blinked, surprised by the sudden change of scenery before her. "Where- I- Oh, yeah," she mumbled, a soft blush creeping up her cheeks. "Right, a dream." She turned her head away, hoping to hide her embarrassment. She wasn't sure if she had been talking in her sleep; the last thing she wanted was for him to know that her dreams, even seemingly pleasant ones, were full of abandonment and sadness. "It's really morning?" she asked, hoping to avoid the previous subject. "How can you tell, its freezing and _dark_ in here."

He knelt by Rey, looking down on her with concern. Her first words had caused him alarm, before he realized that she was still asleep when she had spoken them. Not that it would be necessarily unexpected for her to spurn his attention, but it still caused him to flinch internally. In response to her question, he glanced over to the remains of the fire. "I _don't_ know for sure, but the fire is going out, and we need to get moving regardless." He leaned back on his haunches and withdrew his hand from her shoulder. "Are you alright?" he asked, awkwardly but with genuine concern. "You were crying...or...something." He looked downward, hoping not to make her feel too uncomfortable. "I think you were having a nightmare." He swallowed, realizing that _he_ very well could have been the object of her fear in the dream. The thought inexplicably sickened him.

She sighed and closed her eyes. She hadn't slept well, and she felt sore, in addition to being particularly thirsty. "Can we build the fire back up a bit and have some water before we go?" she asked, hoping some activity would lessen her discomfort. She wasn't about to ask where they were going. That question was guaranteed to start an argument, and she already felt so worn down that she might not be able to keep from crying if that happened. She opened her eyes and looked back up into his face, surprised at his concern. "I – yeah, it was just a dream, I'm okay," she said finally, desperately wishing he'd let it go. Noticing the pained look on his face, she quickly added "Don't worry, it wasn't about you." 'At least, I don't think it was,' she mused silently.

He nodded, but did a double take when she apparently sensed his concern over being the source of her dread. He was still not used to someone else - beyond the Supreme Leader - being able to tap into his consciousness so effortlessly. "Well, that's an improvement," he said with a soft smile. He gave a moment's consideration to her request of stoking the fire. Kylo Ren was naturally restless and impatient, and the idea of spending time gathering fodder for a fire they'd be leaving behind shortly was not appealing. However, looking down now at Rey, he faltered. There could be no real _harm_ in what she asked, and he was thirsty too. "Alright," he agreed. "Why don't you look for fire wood and I'll go gather some snow for drinking water?" He paused, contemplating the other matter which he knew was on her mind - "What happens now?" But he decided to let her wake up and get them both a drink before broaching that subject. Standing to his feet, he looked around for his helmet, picked it up, and started toward the mouth of the cave. As an afterthought, he called back, "I'll stay out of view and give you time to put your own clothes back on. They should be fully dry by now. Then when I return, I'll help you look for wood."

He disappeared down the tunnel once more, and Rey slowly sat up, twisting in an effort to loosen her particularly stiff back and abdomen. As she swept her hands forward, she brushed against a metal cylinder and cringed, remembering that she had the fleeting idea to stab Ren with it while he slept. He was nothing but kind to her this morning, and she felt a twinge of guilt at her cowardice. However, as she stood to get dressed, doubts began to bubble up in her mind. He might be going to get his shuttle and leave her here to die in the storm; even worse he could be returning with a Stormtrooper unit, intent on taking her captive. As she shed the cloak and long sleeve tunic she had worn, her thoughts continued to race. He couldn't possibly be planning on just letting her walk away from him; he had come to this planet for a reason, and that reason appeared to be either imprisoning or killing her. She sat down on a rock, clad only in the tunic she wore under her clothes, barely noticing the chill it sent through her. Clothes forgotten, she focused on the problem at hand; there _had_ to be a way to escape him, though she was unable to come up with anything plausible.

Kylo Ren stood at the mouth of the cave, surveying the landscape before him. Much to his relief, the storm seemed to have passed, the sun just visible over the horizon. It cast a pale violet hue over the freshly fallen snow which covered everything in sight. The scene was incredibly beautiful, and he was temporarily transfixed, his breath curling into the frigid air in ethereal tendrils of vapor.

Crouching down, he raked his helmet through the snow like a shovel, filling it with the icy white fluff, and he realized just how thirsty he was. With his hands, he scooped up another portion of snow, and packed it into his mouth. No sense in drive nking from the helmet when he could get his fill right now, and let Rey have what was in the helmet.

 _Rey_! The crystalline wonderland had momentarily distracted him from the girl waiting for him inside the cave. They had to get off this planet, but where would they go? He knew beyond a doubt that the only way to bring her back to the First Order base of operations was as his captive, and that prospect seemed somehow abhorrent to him now. The alternative was just as unlikely, however, as he had no intention of going with her back to the Resistance base. To him, it seemed there was only one thing to do: he had to let her go.

Their shared evening in the cave had shown him one thing: Rey was a person, with a will, thoughts, and feelings of her own. He couldn't even begin to understand the connection they shared, but it was undeniably present, and for the first time in his recent memory, he was willing to put someone else's needs above his own. His consolation, beyond the knowledge that he was doing the right thing, was that perhaps, if she could see that he was not the monster she had feared, just maybe in the future she would be more receptive to him. Letting her go now did not necessarily mean letting her go /forever/.

With a heavy sigh, he stood up, clutching the helmet full of snow, and turned to walk back into the cave. He'd lingered long enough in the snow that Rey ought to have had plenty of time to dress. Maybe she'd already found some twigs to restart the fire, and he could warm himself by the blaze when he get back inside.

Rounding the corner, he announced, "I've got the water! I took some mys -" His thought was cut off as he looked up to see her sitting there wearing nothing by her under-tunic, sitting on a rock. Throwing up his hands to cover his eyes, the helmet went flying through the air, landing on the stone floor with an echoing "clang" and sending snow flying everywhere. "I'm sorry! I didn't know!" he stammered, turning around and half-running back out of the cave.

Once he had reached the cave entrance once more, he slumped with his hands on knees, panting - not from the exertion of running, but from the panic and thrill of what he'd just seen. His heart was racing and his entire body felt warm and flushed. He swore under his breath, realizing that in his frenzy, he'd left the helmet behind. Turning to face the tunnel from which he'd just emerged, he shouted, "Tell me when you're dressed!" Embarrassed and flustered, still he found himself grinning stupidly, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't wipe it off his face.


	12. Chapter 12 - A Fresh perspective

Authors' note: Lucasfilm and Disney own the characters, we just play with them from time to time. This story was jointly written by DisappointedSon and FeministAwakens - we hope you enjoy it!

* * *

Rey had been so deep in thought, she hadn't realized he had returned until he dropped his helmet and stammered an apology for, she supposed, walking in on her. She felt her cheeks begin to burn with embarrassment. 'Stop it,' she immediately reprimanded herself. He couldn't have seen much, even if he had gotten a good look at her before he covered his eyes and ran back out. Though her tunic had a deep v down the center, it wasn't wide enough to be revealing, it was more than long enough to cover her sitting down, and while it was fairly form fitting, she had chosen a much thicker, and thankfully, /less sheer/ fabric than she usually wore. Besides, she was sure Ren had seen plenty of women in far more states of undress than her own. Sighing deeply, she pulled his cloak back on and picked up his helmet before heading toward the cave entrance; she'd just make him get firewood after this while she got dressed. She was nearly to him when she heard him yelling around the corner. Rather than replying, she merely walked around it and found herself face to face with him. "Here, you dropped this," she stated simply. As she got a better look at him, she noticed he was flushed and grinning. "Is there a joke I missed?" she asked coldly, feeling even more self-conscious as she stood in front of him wearing nothing but his cloak, though he had no way to know that.

He jumped, startled as she rounded the corner. "N-no! Not at all!" His cheeks burned fiercely, but he somehow managed to suppress that ridiculous grin. "I just...um..." he looked down and took the helmet she had extended to him. "Thank-you," he breathed, trying to regain some semblance of composure. His eyes scanned her form, noting that she was still wearing his cloak, and he looked away, sensing what she was not telling him - that she was still not dressed beneath it. She was toying with him! He supposed it was only fair, given the way he'd toyed with her upon their first meeting. But still... He cleared his throat awkwardly and filled the helmet with snow one more time. "Why don't /you/ carry it this time?" He held out the helmet for Rey to take, and was unable to keep his eyes from trailing from her face downward and back up again. Not that there was much to see, but just knowing what lay (or did /not/) lay beneath made the effort seem worthwhile. It occurred to him that she probably thought he'd had many lovers. The truth, however, was that he'd always considered sexual desire and affection to be a weakness - a distraction from the more important tasks at hand. But he decided there was no harm in letting her believe this. His ego certainly didn't intend to confess otherwise. "Right. Let's go find some kindling," he said, trying to sound confident.

She grabbed the helmet as he thrust it at her, feeling her entire body flush as his gaze raked down over her, and back up to her face. She hadn't even considered how he might view the situation; she had been somewhat frustrated that he had caught her in so little clothing, and had hoped she could speed things along and move past it. Now she was standing here, the object of his attention, because he had likely realized that she hadn't put on any clothes since he walked in. "Alright," she replied in a clipped tone, brushing past him and marching back toward the cave. With one hand occupied with his helmet, she held the cloak shut with the other, resolving to send him to find kindling while she got properly dressed.

Unsure of what had just happened, Kylo followed Rey back into the cave. Maybe he had been right to think of sexual attraction as a distraction. It certainly was distracting him /now/. Shaking his head in effort to clear his mind, he announced his intent to go further into the tunnels to look for kindling. As he walked into the darker recesses of the cavern, Ren ignited his lightsaber and used its glow to illuminate the cave walls. Before too long, he had gathered an arm-full of twigs and roots - what he hoped would be enough to get a small fire going. They wouldn't need it to burn for long, anyway. Making his way back to their campsite, he whispered a petition to the Force that Rey was actually fully clothed this time. Just in case, he announced his arrival before walking into the larger area where he had left her to dress.

As soon as he had walked far enough into the tunnel that she couldn't hear his footsteps, Rey let the cloak fall to her feet, and began to pull on her clothing. Once she was wearing her outer tunic, leggings and sleeves, she slipped into her robe, shivering slightly. Ren had clearly been better prepared for this planet's climate, at least as far as dressing for the weather went. She made a mental note to better research the atmospheric conditions before going to a planet; she then resolved to invest in some cold weather clothing, particularly a warm cloak. Wandering over to his helmet, she tipped it back and forth slightly, hoping the snow had melted enough that she could have a drink. As she picked it up to find out, she heard him loudly call her name. "I'm dressed, if that's what you're asking," she replied, and watched him stroll into view with a small pile of tinder a moment later.

To his immense relief (and perhaps just a twinge of disappointment), she was fully clothed when he stepped into the dimly lit cavern. "I managed to find a little wood, but not much," he admitted, indicating the small pile of twigs in his arms. He walked over to the glowing embers on the ground and squatted down to arrange the sticks and roots he had found on top of the large log that still glowed hot. Once he'd placed them to his satisfaction, he looked around for something to use to fan the flame. Taking note of his cloak on the floor, he grabbed it and folded the garment into a workable shape before waving it over the sticks. It didn't take long for the flame to reach upward, licking at the fresh wood, and soon there was a roaring fire once again. He looked over at Rey with a smile, but remembering his thoughts outside the cave, his countenance darkened. Looking back to the fire, he said softly, "I know you've been trying to think of a way to escape." It was a simple statement, not intended to inflict guilt or threat; it was only the truth. With a sigh, he continued, "You are not my prisoner. You are free to return to the Resistance if that is what you wish." Slowly lifting his eyes to meet hers, he added even more softly, "Tell my mother..." He trailed off, shaking his head. This was wrong. But he couldn't help it. "Tell my mother... I'm sorry." He finished, hoping his voice was not faltering as badly as it sounded in his head.

She sat down near the freshly rekindled fire, placing his helmet close enough that the snow would melt. She watched as he knelt down, dreading their impending departure and what that would mean for her. At his mention of escape, her heart began to pound in her chest; if he was so in tune with her thoughts he had sensed that, she was in trouble. If not, it probably meant he had already decided on a way to take her captive. She stared straight ahead, willing herself to not show the fear she felt, determined to not give him any more of an advantage than he currently possessed; it was to her great surprise when he continued speaking, and she regarded him suspiciously through the flames. 'It must be a trap,' she thought. 'He'll track me to a base, or to Master Luke's planet, then call in reinforcements to destroy it.' If Rey was surprised when he told her she was not his prisoner, she was dumbstruck by the next turn of events. "Your – your mother?" She stammered, stunned by the tenderness he had just shown. "You could always tell her that yourself," she blurted out, so bewildered by the direction this had gone in that she didn't realize the implication of it until the words had already left her mouth.

He shook his head sadly. How many times had he thought of what it would be like to go to his mother and beg her forgiveness? To give in to the beckoning from the light? The thoughts haunted his waking moments and dreams alike. But it was no use. Not now. Probably not ever. Looking back up to meet Rey's gaze, he said, "No. I can't." There were so many reasons why this statement was true, but he had no idea where to even begin. With a half-hearted chuckle, he offered, "Do you have any idea what the Resistance would do to me if I showed up at their base?" Shaking his head once more for good measure, he insisted, "I can't go to her. But you can." He wanted to make her understand that he didn't /want/ to know where the base was - that if he did, there would be no stopping Snoke from destroying the whole system, with his mother in the middle of it! But he didn't want to begin another argument over his political allegiance, so he left this line of reasoning unspoken. He'd spent so many years trying to turn his heart to stone - to repress any and all emotion - but it had been a failure. He could see that clearly now, and he felt another wave of remorse wash over him like a flood. He tried to blink it back, but was largely unsuccessful, a single tear escaping to trail its way down his cheek, following the scar that ran across his face. "When you see her, tell my mother that I love her."


	13. Chapter 13 - A Narrow Escape

Authors' note: Lucasfilm and Disney own the characters, we just play with them from time to time. This story was jointly written by DisappointedSon and FeministAwakens - we hope you enjoy it!

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As a tear slid down his face, his anguish was palpable to Rey, so much so that her head swam and she felt her stomach clench. She reached out to wipe the tear away, almost on instinct, before pausing, fearful that he'd push her hand away or worse. The tear trickled slowly down the line of his scar as she studied him. Rey had never considered his humanity before this moment; it was easy enough to be terrified and resentful of a cruel masked figure, and even easier to hate the man who had imprisoned her before heartlessly killing his own father. She'd never thought about his feelings before, about the conflict that must be raging inside him. She opened her mouth, but couldn't find the words to express herself; she knew the pain of losing one's family all too well, and for the first time since she'd laid eyes on him, she felt compassion for the man. "I-" she paused, unsure of herself. "I will"

He sniffed, forcing a smile. "You're still afraid of me. Even now." Taking a chance of his own, he reached out and took the hand with which she'd almost wiped away his tear. There was no urgency in his grasp - no ferocity - no dominance. He held her hand gently in his, running the pad of his thumb gently over her knuckles. Without breaking eye contact, he lifted her hand to his face, pressing her palm against his cheek. "Look at me. Feel me. I am not a monster." His voice was barely more than a whisper as he guided her fingers softly over the scar she'd given him, and leaned into her touch.

Rey froze as she felt his strong hand close around her much smaller one. Her breath was shallow as he ran a finger over her knuckles, and she felt a shiver go down her spine. She barely managed to squeak out "Should- should I not be?" before he slowly brought her hand up to his cheek, running her fingers down the length of the injury she'd inflicted on him. His face was softer than she'd expected, and his breath lightly tickled her palm as he held her hand against his cheek. As she seemed to regain mobility in her hands, she gently wiped the tear from the gash in his smooth skin. Trembling slightly, she continued the motion and traced his jawline with the pad of her thumb, studying his face as she did so. Her breath hitched in her throat, and she looked back up at him, brow furrowed, unsure of how to respond to what he'd said.

His eyelids fell slowly shut as she traced his jawline with her thumb. The physical contact was intoxicating and he felt as though his entire body was humming with a low level electric current. His eyes fluttered open to meet hers and his lips parted slightly, his line of sight trailing slowly downward to her mouth and lingering there a moment before climbing back to meet her wide-eyed stare. Tentatively, he leaned forward, eyes flicking down to her lips and back again, pausing when his face was inches from her. With a nearly imperceptible shake of his head, he whispered, "Don't be afraid..."

A sudden echoing crash ripped through the tension of the moment like a dagger, causing them both to jump, searching for the source of the noise. A quick scan of the cavern revealed a dozen or more stone fragments strewn across the cave floor, and Kylo guessed there must have been a piece of rock from the wall that had been loosened during his temper tantrum the day before, and had finally fallen loose. Turning back to look at Rey, he laughed softly, blushing deeply. "Maybe we'd better get you back to you ship," he said with a sheepish grin.

Rey stood anchored in place, drawing shaky, erratic breaths. For a moment, she had entirely forgotten who and where she was. All she had felt was a thrill of anticipation and his presence slowly enveloping her, whispering tendrils of his conscious wrapping around her body and holding her in place as he drew nearer. The sudden thundering of rocks smashing into the ground had broken her trance, but it hadn't quite jolted her back to reality. 'Don't be afraid…' echoed through her mind as Ren turned back around to face her. "My wh-?" reality came crashing down around Rey as she realized what had just happened, and exactly _who_ it had just happened with. "Right, my ship," she mumbled back, hurriedly moving around the fire in an effort to put space between the two of them. "My ship. Right," she repeated, stumbling over the words as she struggled to put together a coherent sentence. "I'm – I'm going to get going then," she finally managed, heading towards the corridor that led out of the cave.

He watched as Rey walked off in the direction of the cave opening, feeling the cold air closing in on his body the moment she moved away. Glancing down at the ground, he laughed to himself. Had he really intended to kiss her? He certainly had wanted to. The thought made him shiver. He scooped up his cloak and hood from the floor and draped them around himself in preparation to leave, noting that even with his cloak, he still felt colder than he had a few minutes ago when he'd been so close to Rey. He took one final sweeping look around the cavern that had been their home for the past 18 hours, and then headed outside. Kylo had to take long, quick strides to catch up with his unlikely companion, but he managed to reach her before she'd gotten too far. "Let me walk you back to your ship," he offered, feeling like a silly school boy, but not really caring. He was letting her go - at least he could see that she got safely on her way.

"Wh- what?" she stammered, _again,_ as Ren caught up with her, and she felt her face burn despite the cold wind as her cheeks turned a rosy red from embarrassment. She was never this inarticulate, and she was particularly sensitive to it around him. Taking a deep, steadying breath, she chided herself for not sprinting as soon as she reached the mouth of the cave; perhaps that would've kept him from following her. She turned to look at him slightly, not slowing the brisk pace at which she hiked toward her ship. "Why are you doing this?" she asked, finally managing to calm herself enough to finish a sentence. Her pulse was beginning to race again; the uncomfortable emptiness she had felt when she walked away from him was rapidly filling itself, and she wasn't sure whether to be irritated or relieved.

He found that he was practically jogging to keep pace with Rey. She must have really wanted to be rid of him. Funny. That hadn't been what he'd felt from her back in the cave...but no matter. He considered her question. Why /was/ he doing this? In truth it was as much a mystery to himself as it was to her. "I'm...not really sure," he admitted between breaths. "I just want to make sure you're safe." The words felt strange rolling off his tongue, but he realized only after he'd said it that it really was the truth. "Where /is/ your ship, anyway?" he asked as an afterthought.

She ignored his comment about her safety, torn between a tongue in cheek comment about how her safety had never stopped him before and feeling oddly pleased that he seemed to care enough. She hesitated for a moment, reluctant to reveal her ship's location in the event he wasn't telling the truth, but a quick check in the force revealed no deception on his part. "It's tucked into a chasm at the edge of the mountain range," she responded, hopping quickly over large rocks and down trees. "I put it there so no one would see it, not that that appears to have stopped you."

With a shrug and a chuckle, he admitted, "The First Order has eyes everywhere. It did take us a while to find you, though. I have to give you credit for that." Had it not been for the Force guiding him through the terrain, he surely would have fallen and broken every bone in his body, and he marveled at the grace and speed at which Rey was able to navigate the land. Of course, she had the force as well, but her agility seemed to be as much a part of her as her brown hair and eyes - it was part of her genetic make-up. "Is it much further?" he called out, eager to get this journey underway.

"Not- really," she replied, panting between words. She was covering ground more quickly than she would have alone, hoping he'd get tired of following her and return to his own ship. "You know – you really don't – have to come – with me," she suggested breathlessly. Pausing on a small rise, she scanned the side of a nearby mountain. "Really, I can find it and take off by myself. I've been taking care of myself for years, you know." She wasn't sure how effective her dissuasion would be, but she certainly was going to try it. He may have been behaving entirely out of character earlier, but that didn't mean he wouldn't detain her the next chance he got, and she would prefer not to take that risk near her ship.


	14. Chapter 14 - A Rude Awakening

Authors' note: Lucasfilm and Disney own the characters, we just play with them from time to time. This story was jointly written by DisappointedSon and FeministAwakens - we hope you enjoy it! We _love_ to hear your thoughts! Please leave us a review if you'd like!

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He laughed, knowing what she was trying to do. "You're not going to get rid of me that easily," he shouted. "Do you still think I can't be trusted?" He wasn't quite sure whether he was amused or offended, but it didn't really matter. "Once we reach your vessel, I'll let you be on your way." His heart sank as he realized that this might actually be the last time he would see her. But no, he wouldn't think about that. Just then, they reached the summit of the hill they'd been climbing, and looking down into the chasm below, he could see Rey's ship. It was half covered with snow, but it was there. "We may need to lift it out of that snow drift," he commented, offering to help.

'Blast,' Rey cursed internally. She could see her ship clearly, and it looked like it had been hit by an avalanche. The tail end and engines stuck out at an odd angle, suggesting it had been knocked off its landing struts, and the cockpit was entirely covered by what appeared to be snow and rocks. At least this gave her a reason not to tell him how she felt about trusting him – and an excuse to avoid considering the question; truthfully, she wasn't sure whether or not she did, and she certainly wasn't in the mood to ruminate on it. Resigning herself to his presence, at least for now, she mumbled a short "Thanks," before continuing towards the ship, beginning to force-push small chunks of ice off as she descended.

Kylo followed Rey down into the ravine, aiding her as much as possible with force pushing chunks of stone and ice and sweeping aside large piles of snow. As the ship was gradually unveiled, though, he wondered whether she would be going _anywhere_ in it. He tried not to show his concern, but he knew she would feel it regardless. He cast a sidelong glance in her direction, wondering if she was reaching the same conclusion.

The more of the cockpit that came into view, the more concerned Rey became. She could see at least two cracks in the transparisteel viewports, and the hull near the cockpit had one very noticeable dent, and there were likely more that she couldn't see. She gritted her teeth, and headed for the hatch. It popped open, quite a bit slower than it should have, and she slipped inside. As she walked down the short corridor to the cockpit, she could hear the ship groaning with her movements. 'Not a good sign,' she thought to herself. Once inside the cockpit, she plopped down in the pilot's seat and engaged the pre-launch checklist. She didn't want to turn the engines on and startle Ren, but she needed to know if her ship was airworthy. Any hopes she had were quickly dashed by numerous flashing lights and warning beeps which indicated that the cabin pressure was compromised and the ship had at least four separate punctures or cracks in its exterior. 'No,' she thought. 'No, please. This can't be happening.' She slumped back in her chair and finally let the tears that she'd been fighting to contain for the last twenty-four hours roll down her cheeks.

Ren watched her as she nimbly maneuvered through the snow and rock, and entered her ship. Breathing heavily, he trudged after her, lowering himself through the hatch. He could tell immediately that it was not fit for space travel, even before he walked into the cockpit to find Rey weeping. A quick assessment of the flashing lights on the control panel, together with the disconcerting groan of metal echoing throughout the small craft confirmed his suspicions. Cautiously, he moved up behind the quivering form of the scavenger girl sitting in the pilot's seat. Not wishing to startle her, he pushed into her mind gently in attempt to console her. Once he was sure she was aware of his presence, he placed a gloved hand on her shoulder and squeezed softly before speaking in a hushed tone. "We need to get out of here, Rey. This ship is unstable. It could be dangerous."

A soft pressure at the edge of her conscious drew Rey's attention, and as she choked back a fresh round of tears, she realized it was Ren, alerting her to his presence. She drew in a few shuddering breaths, willing him to leave when she felt a gloved hand cup her shoulder gently. She pressed her eyes shut and tipped her head back, forcing herself to breathe deeply in an attempt to regain control. "Please," she started softly, as another grinding sound emanated from the ship. "Please, leave me alone." Nothing about this mission had gone how it was supposed to. 'Much like most my life,' she thought ruefully. And now, here she was; sitting in the cockpit of her battered ship, with Kylo Ren telling her she had to go with him. As if her _ship_ was the most dangerous thing around her right now. She'd rather walk the miles long journey to whatever small outpost was nearby than willingly follow him out of here.

Kylo felt Rey's despair heavily, like a dense fog, suffocating him. In light of the circumstances, though, he forcefully shoved the overwhelming emotion aside to focus on the task at hand. The small ship was emitting more threatening groaning sounds now, and the Force energy inside of him suddenly sprang to alert. Something was very wrong here. "Come _on_ ," he insisted now with urgency. We need to leave _now_!" He reached down and grabbed her hand, pulling her out of the chair and nearly dragging her behind him. He had divined the problem - something (probably a sharp stone or large icicle) had pierced a fuel cell, which, along with the general lack in structural integrity, effectively turned the entire ship into a ticking time bomb. He tried to reach out with the force, holding back any further destruction, but his concentration was failing as he scrambled to get Rey and himself to safety.

"Let go of me!" She shouted back, attempting to drop herself to the ground as dead weight, in an effort to force him to release her. She knew her behavior was entirely undignified, and certainly not how a Jedi should act, but at the moment, she didn't care. Like _hell_ was she going with him; on this planet, she had seen a glimpse of who he was as a person, perhaps even a peek at Ben Solo. On his ship, 'Or worse, on his base,' she thought with a shudder; he was the master of the Knights of Ren, with responsibilities and duties to go with the title. _Here_ he might have shown her compassion, but back with the First Order, she couldn't imagine him showing any mercy; particularly not if she possessed information useful to Snoke. "Let- me- _go_!" she yelled again, desperately trying to tear free from his grasp.

With a guttural moan, he hefted her the rest of the way out of the ship, fairly tossing her into a snow drift and hurling himself out behind her. He couldn't hold the ship together any longer. As he hit the ground, he grabbed hold of the young woman and rolled them both in the snow, farther from the ship. With his force hold on the ship released, he watched as the roof of the vessel began to give way, followed by an explosion from deep inside. He tried to shield Rey from the blast as much as possible with his own body, as the flames began to engulf the rest of the ship. They had escaped just in time. Panting, Kylo turned to look at Rey. "Trust me now?" he asked breathlessly.

Rey let out an indignant "Hey!" as she went tumbling toward a snowbank, followed quickly by a gasp as the impact knocked the wind out of her. She was drawing a shaky breath when she felt an arm wrap around her waist and pull her farther from her ship. The sudden movement pushed snow down the back of her cloak and into her outer tunic, but she barely noticed as a large weight landed on top of her. Something heavy and dark covered her face and mouth, and her muffled "What are-" was cut off by a thundering bang that reverberated throughout her body. Just as abruptly, the weight above her shifted, causing her to wince, and she found herself mere inches from Ren. Struggling to draw labored breaths as the full weight of his body continued to press down on her temporarily inert lungs, Rey could only glance at the flaming wreckage of her ship before meeting his gaze again and nodding, wide-eyed, in response to his question.

Ren was still trying to catch his breath as he looked down at the bewildered girl lying beneath him. He'd only been thinking of her safety - he hadn't planned the compromising position in which he now found himself. He scrambled to remove himself from atop her, mumbling an apology as he shifted, seating himself in the snow next to her. "I'm sorry for dragging you like that," he apologized. "But there was no time to have a discussion." He gestured toward the smoldering ship as he spoke. Meanwhile, the sky overhead was growing dark again. "Are you alright?" he asked softly.

Cold air flooded into her lungs as he pushed himself off her, and she gasped in relief. Without the weight of his body shielding her own, the icy wind washed over her and she shivered, feeling the snow sliding underneath her clothing and beginning to melt. "I- I'm okay," she choked out between coughs. "Thank you," she added, her voice faltering. "Are you?" She could only see his face from this angle; for all she knew, shrapnel from the explosion could have sliced open his back as he lay over her. She sat up, supporting herself with her hands and hissing at the icy sting that shot through them. Craning her neck slightly, she felt her spirit deflate even further; where her ship had sat only seconds ago was now a smoking crater with mechanical remnants strewn about it.

He paused, trying to gauge whether he had sustained any injury. Once satisfied, he nodded. "I'm alright. I think we got far enough to avoid any major damage. But your ship..." He trailed off, observing the smoking wreckage. You're going to have to come with me," he said turning back to face her. My shuttle is larger, and I left the crew on board. They will have kept it safe from the storm." His eyes searched hers, pleading with her to listen to reason. With her ship destroyed, she didn't have much choice, and judging by the look of the accumulating cloud cover, they could be subjected to another snow storm within the hour. "Please," he said imploringly.

"Your crew?" she asked meekly. Of course he had a crew with him. It was absurd to think that he'd singlehandedly flown a spacecraft to come hunt for her on some godforsaken planet; he had probably spent the entire flight meditating on her capture, she thought indignantly. She tried to rub the cold from her hands as she considered his proposition; getting on his ship willingly wasn't the brightest idea, but it was a prudent decision, given her inability to get off the planet. If she was lucky, he might drop her at a remote outpost, and she could take a transport back to Luke or a Resistance base. Getting on a ship swarming with Stormtroopers, well that was a whole different story. They might be brainwashed, violent, targeting challenged excuses for an army, but there was no doubt in her mind that they would not take kindly to doing anything with her besides delivering her to Snoke. She felt her chest tighten at the thought; it certainly seemed preferable to die on this planet than to be tortured for information or suffer whatever other cruel fate awaited her in Snoke's hands. "I can't," she said dully, already certain he wouldn't let this go without a fight.

He nodded, biting the inside of his lip, as he 'heard' her mental line of reasoning. Without stopping to worry about whether she would object to this knowledge, he addressed the concern. "It is a skeleton crew. General Hux refused to grant me any more men than was absolutely necessary to pilot the shuttle. The mission to find you was a... _personal_ one." He paused long enough to take another glance at the sky. Regarding her once more, he continued, "I know you would sooner die than go back to the First Order. And I can't go with you to the Resistance base. But there is another way." He frowned, questioning the wisdom of what he was about to suggest, but ultimately deciding he had little choice in the matter. "I have my own _private_ base - a sort of solitary retreat. I go there when I need time to be secluded, to meditate or study. The First Order has no presence there. You'd be safe. And from there, we can find a way to get you back to the Resistance." He studied her, mentally imploring her to comply. "Please, Rey. We don't have much time. I _swear_ I will protect you." He was surprised to find that he really meant it.

'A personal mission?' her eyes widened slightly as she turned his words over in her mind, struggling to comprehend what that could have meant. His urgency drew her attention back to the present, and she shivered involuntarily, though she wasn't sure if it was from the intensifying winds or the vehemence with which he spoke. She twisted slightly, casting another hopeful glance at the blackened shell of her ship, as if it could have rebuilt itself since the explosion. The wind whipped a few strands of hair around her face, and she noticed they were laced with snowflakes. A quick look up told her that another storm would be bearing down on them, and soon. She was already beginning to feel chilled again, and she couldn't survive another storm, especially not out in the elements. Reluctantly, she raised her eyes to meet his gaze; "Do you _promise_ you won't hurt me?" the words felt childish, and she knew there was nothing that would actually bind him to such a vow, but she needed to hear it nonetheless.

Fixing her with a gaze that he hoped would convey his sincerity he said, "I promise. I will _not_ hurt you, nor will my troopers. You have my word, and despite what you may believe, I have _never_ lied to you. But right now we need to move. My shuttle isn't far. We can reach it before the storm intensifies if we hurry!"


	15. Chapter 15 - Safe at Last

Authors' note: Lucasfilm and Disney own the characters, we just play with them from time to time. This story was jointly written by DisappointedSon and FeministAwakens - we hope you enjoy it!

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Rey swallowed hard, hoping that this wouldn't be a decision she'd regret. She gave him a curt nod before pushing herself up from the snowbank, wincing at the cold on her rapidly numbing hands. The bottom of her cloak danced in the wind and she shivered again as an icy blast of air hit her legs. She balled her hands into fists inside her sleeves, hoping they'd begin to warm up this way. Taking a deep steadying breath, she gestured toward the path they'd come down earlier; "Lead the way."

He nodded in return, and tugged himself up out of the snow. "This way," he said, and started down the pathway. The rate of snowfall was picking up, and he hoped against hope that his men would be able to lift off in the midst of it. Briefly, he remembered their last trek in the snow. He had no wish for a repeat performance. Ignoring her protests, Kylo grabbed Rey's hand again and pulled her through the searing wind and snow. He had to use the Force to guide him toward the ship, because the landscape was ever-changing in these weather conditions, the snow turning plains into mountainous snow drifts, and burying landmarks within minutes. He made a mental note to check for odd weather patterns next time he made a journey to an unfamiliar planet. Ren could sense Rey's strength receding, and he knew she was cold and wet. He considered trying to carry her, but knew there'd be Hell to pay if he did that. So he pushed into her space with the force, lending her some of his own strength within, and gently lifting her up from without. Not wanting to waste his breath in shouting, he projected into her mind {Stay with me! It's going to be alright!} _Finally_ they reached the level plain where Kylo Ren's shuttle stood majestically in the snow. Sensing Rey's strength slacking even more, he stopped and hoisted her up in his arms to carry her the rest of the way to the ship. The stormtroopers, alerted to their arrival, sprang into action and lowered the gangplank for their passage.

The snow swirled around them and began to settle on Rey's cloak with an accompanying sense of dread. This was _exactly_ how the blizzard they'd been caught in started; she could already feel the snow seeping through her clothing, and a numb feeling was settling over her again. Her breathing grew ragged, and though she hadn't realized that she was slowing down, Ren apparently had. He grabbed her hand and pulled her forward, against her shouted objections. As they pressed on, she stumbled behind him, her legs threatening to give way beneath her. 'No,' she reprimanded herself, trudging onwards. Even if she was relying on his goodwill to get off this cursed planet, her wounded pride couldn't handle any more assistance from him. Just as the thought crossed her mind, she felt her body lighten, and she dejectedly realized Ren was using the force to assist her. His encouragement echoed in her mind, and she trudged forward determinedly; as they crested yet another hill, his shuttle came into view. She paused for a moment, and was suddenly swept off the ground. Ren has scooped her up and was _carrying_ her towards his ship. She attempted to retaliate for the indignity, but she had become so cold and lethargic that she could barely muster the energy for a complaint. Instead, she let her head drop against his chest as she clung to his robes, bracing herself against another onslaught of snow.

With Rey draped in his strong arms, the dark knight climbed the ramp to enter his shuttle. One withering glance at the Stormtroopers who were positioned at the entrance was enough to indicate that they should ask no questions. "Prepare for immediate departure," he commanded, the steely facade of Kylo Ren once more firmly in place for the troopers' benefit. He may have lowered his defenses for the girl in his arms, but to these men he must still be the hard, ruthless leader they feared. "We must be out of this planet's atmosphere before the storm begins in earnest. Bring us outside the asteroid belt and await my instruction." With immediate obedience, the men marched off to carry out their duties. Turning his attention back to Rey, he spoke softly, in a tone markedly different from the one he'd used on the Stormtroopers. His whole demeanor had changed to one more comfortable - almost intimate. "Are you alright?" he asked her. "Can you stand?"

As he climbed the ramp, a quick glimpse of a Stormtrooper caused Rey to squeeze her eyes shut and bury her face in his chest; she had no idea what awaited her onboard, and she'd rather avoid any unnecessary interactions. She was unable to prevent herself from trembling, and she knew he felt it; he had one arm cradling her back, his hand cupping her ribcage to support her, and the other wrapped around her legs. She winced at his harsh tone, and her imagination immediately began to spin scenarios in which he once again treated her similarly. The ion engines hummed to life, and her heart sunk as it registered with her that she was now completely trapped with no way off the ship. The sharp contrast in Ren's voice as he spoke to her encouraged her to lift her head slightly. "I'm not sure," she mumbled. "I think so. Can you put me down?" she released the fistful of fabric she'd been clinging to. "Please?"

He nodded and slowly lowered her to stand on the floor, removing his support gradually, in case she started to lose balance. Once he was satisfied she was stable on her feet, he looked down at her with genuine concern. "Come with me. Let's get you some warm dry clothes. I don't have much, but I do have a few spare garments in case of emergency, and you can wash up if you want. There's a refresher off of my private suite." He held out a hand in the direction of the corridor before them. "It's just down this way," he instructed. "Once you're settled, I'll instruct the crew on our destination."

She swayed slightly as he released his hold on her and, for a moment, her legs struggled to support her weight. Too tired to expend the energy on unnecessary words, she nodded in consent. A hot shower sounded heavenly to her; she was exhausted, and beginning to feel the effects of only one meal in the last thirty six hours. Peering in the direction he had indicated, she took a few cautious steps, not entirely trusting her stiff muscles to keep her on her feet. When it appeared that they'd support her, at least for the time being, she paused, waiting for him to lead the way. This was still a First Order ship, despite his reassurances, and she wasn't willing to take any chances.

He led her down the corridor to an imposing looking door. Ren punched in a code on the datapad on the wall, and the door whooshed open to reveal a small but comfortable living area. Two chairs, a small table, and a simply adorned bed were all the furniture in view, and there were two more doors located on the wall to the right. Ren gestured for her to enter ahead of himself and, once inside, he made his way to the farthest door. Opening it and rifling through the contents, he stepped back to reveal a black tunic and outer cloak. "It's the best I can do," he said somewhat apologetically. "But it's dry and warm." Pointing to the other door, he added, "The refresher's there. Make yourself at home. I'll go and inform the captain of our destination." With a self-questioning sigh, he walked back to the open closet and retrieved a helmet identical to the one he'd used to carry snow back on the frozen planet. Once he had fitted the helmet in its place on his head, he turned and made his way to the bridge.

The thick black fabric swayed slightly as Rey folded it over her arm with a soft "Thanks," before heading for the second door. It slid shut behind her with a soft hiss, and she waited until she heard him leave before taking in her surroundings. The refresher had a pristine feel to it, outfitted entirely in a smooth white stone and glass. She listened at the door for a moment to ensure Ren had truly left before peeling off her cold, wet clothing. Shivering as the air swept over her damp skin, she turned the water on nearly as hot as she could, checking only to make sure she wouldn't burn herself before stepping in. As it cascaded over her, she undid her hair and sighed in relief, feeling the gentle patter of the jets relaxing her muscles and the steam banishing the chill in her bones. Grabbing a bottle labeled 'shampoo', she squeezed a dollop into her hand and began massaging it into her scalp, pleasantly surprised at the hint of spearmint that wafted through the shower with it. She let the streams of water roll over her for another minute before turning off the shower and stepping out, dripping small puddles as she wrapped herself in a plush charcoal towel.

At his appearance, the crew snapped to attention, and Ren felt the familiar swell of pride filling his chest. These men knew nothing of what had happened between Rey and himself. To them, he was still Kylo Ren, Master of the Knights of Ren. More than a man, he was an imposing presence - someone not to be questioned. Addressing the captain, he said authoritatively, "Plot our course to Kesh. I will be spending some time at my meditation retreat." He paused, making a point of looking at each of the men on the bridge in turn from behind the faceless mask. "If _any_ of you breathes a word about the girl to General Hux, there is no star system, no planet, no barren moon where I will not find you and make you suffer. Do you understand?"

The dark figure fell silent, drinking in the fear that wafted off the men in dense billows. 'Good,' he thought to himself. Their fear ensures their obedience. Turning to stride out of the control room, Kylo paused just long enough to make one final order before heading back to his cabin. "Have someone inform me when we have reached Kesh."


	16. Chapter 16 - Respite

Authors' note: Lucasfilm and Disney own the characters, we just play with them from time to time. This story was jointly written by DisappointedSon and FeministAwakens - we hope you enjoy it!

* * *

The cold tile floor against her bare feet and the cool droplets sliding down her back from her wet hair caused Rey to shiver again. She cast a glance around the room; 'With hair like Ren's, he must have a dryer in here _someplace_ ,' she thought, and noticed it tucked in the corner of the counter. Using the small disk to mostly dry her hair, she tucked it back up into a messy bun.

Taking a peek at herself in the mirror, she realized how sickly she looked; pale, probably from the cold, and her entire face was wind chapped. Opening the top drawer, she found a small container of lotion; as she rubbed in into her tender skin, she was surprised to find it also smelled slightly of spearmint. Content with what she'd borrowed from Ren's toiletries; she dried herself off and slipped into the tunic. Unlike the previous one, this tunic was sleeveless, though still a thick fabric. While she would have felt more comfortable with underwear, hers was currently dripping on the side of the shower, and the tunic was long enough that she didn't feel exposed.

Opening herself to the Force, she checked to see if Ren had returned. She couldn't sense him in the immediate vicinity, but then… she could feel him, perhaps a few hundred meters away, reveling in the fear that surrounded him. Shuddering, she tried to shake the sensation before opening the door and slowly padding over to the bed. She hadn't realized just how tired she was until now, and she sat down on the edge, surprised by how soft it was. She had expected it to be hard and utilitarian, much like Ren was. As she crawled under the covers, she noticed the distinctive spearmint smell against, mixing delicately with the scent of worn leather; the perfect fusion to match Ren's personality, she thought sleepily. Turning on her side, she buried her face in a fluffy pillow, then grabbed another to curl up around before drifting off to sleep.

Making his way back to his room in long strides, the young knight allowed himself a few moments of self-assurance. Whatever had happened in that cave - whatever doubts he'd fostered, or foolish sentimentality - whatever foul sorcery had clouded his vision was all gone now. Back in his own domain, he was Lord Ren once more - master of his own destiny!

All these thoughts strengthened him, but as he walked through the door to his private space, he felt it all crash down around him, and his heart thumped in his throat at the sight of Rey asleep in his bed. A series of curses paraded through his mind as he felt his entire world shifting out of balance, and realized that this girl was the cause. This _scavenger_ from Jakku, who embodied contradiction, was unraveling his tightly wound defenses and skillfully woven plans. Becoming aware of his accelerating pulse, Kylo drew a deep breath and willed his heart to slow. He considered slipping into bed next to her. It was a tempting prospect, but he ultimately decided against it. Rey would doubtless not appreciate the invasion of her personal space, and it wouldn't be too long before they arrived at Kesh. There would be plenty of time for sleep once they reached his private retreat. Feeling a pang of disappointment as he reached this conclusion, the tired young man slumped into a chair and closed his eyes in mediation, searching for some semblance of peace.

The whoosh of the door and the soft click of Ren's heels against the floor would normally have been enough to awaken Rey; she was a light sleeper – one had to be when they'd lived in a hollowed out AT-AT with no locking mechanisms. Tonight, however, she didn't even flinch. She was floating in a deep, calm pool of dreamless sleep, basking in the stillness that blanketed her mind. It had been months since she'd had a night devoid of dreams or nightmares; indeed, she hadn't slept this peacefully since she was on Jakku, her mind too beaten down by the daily struggle to survive to conjure anything for her as she dozed.

Abruptly, the serenity was replaced by the feel of a lean arm encircling her waist and a tall, firm body curling itself around her. Rey burrowed into the warm embrace, sensing a vague familiarity about the whole thing. "Please, don't leave me," she whispered, nearly inaudibly, and no sooner had she done so than the body and bed dissolved back into the tranquil, dreamless pool, leaving her floating in it with a single tear running down her cheek.

Ren was startled awake by a sound issuing from his comm link. He realized with a jolt that he must have fallen asleep while meditating. Internally chastising himself for his lack of discipline, he straightened himself in his chair and looked over at Rey. She was still sound asleep, and with an unexpected heaviness, he realized just how exhausted she must have been. Addressing the voice on the communicator, he said sharply, "Speak."

"Sir, we are nearing our destination and should be touching down in approximately 30 minutes," came the reply, in a voice clearly shaken by anxiety over not having wanted to interrupt the dark force wielder.

"Thank-you," Ren answered dismissively.

He turned his attention back to the sleeping girl nestled in his bed - a sight he'd never dreamed would become a reality. He hated to wake her; she looked so peaceful, but he knew he had to. Getting up from his chair and perching on the edge of the bed, he reached over and gently nudged her shoulder. "Rey," he whispered, "we're almost there."

"Mmmm," came the quiet reply. Still asleep, she rolled slightly away from the intruding noise; she was far too comfortable to be roused from her slumber by a distant whisper. The sudden light touch on her shoulder set her body on high alert and she sat bolt upright, whipping her head around to look for an unknown assailant. Feeling a slight dip in the bed on one side of her, she whirled toward it to protect herself. Rey had been awoken by malicious intruders enough during her time on Jakku that she wasn't willing to take any chances. As her eyes adjusted to the darkness shrouding the room, she found herself face to face with Kylo Ren and exhaled in relief. "Sorry," she murmured, slightly embarrassed, and dropped both her hands and her gaze back to the bed. She didn't offer an explanation, not wanting to reveal any more of her fears to him; he had enough ammunition against her already. As her heartrate slowed to a normal pace and the fog of sleep cleared from her mind, Rey suddenly became aware of the feeling of silky fabric against her thighs. Blushing furiously, she remembered she was wearing _only_ his tunic and realized that it must have ridden up nearly to her hips in her sleep. Thankful that he couldn't see just how scarlet her cheeks had turned, she grabbed the sheet and pulled it more tightly around her.

Surprised by the sudden movement, Kylo stood up abruptly, but then smiled. It was no wonder Rey would automatically snap to defensive mode when wakened, considering her past. _Her past!_ With all that had happened, he'd nearly forgotten that his main objective in all this had been to discover the girl's parentage. But there would be time for that later.

"I'm sorry to wake you, but we'll be landing shortly and I -" he paused as a particularly loud thought had erupted in Rey's mind. Glancing down at the blankets wrapped around her legs, he grinned subtly, and casually wished he'd slid into bed with her after all. "Why don't I give you some privacy?" He chuckled. "I'll come back when we've landed."

Her head snapped up as he paused, mid-sentence, towering over her. The slight smirk on his face as he stared at her lap told her that he'd surmised what she was – or rather, wasn't – wearing. Her cheeks burned an even deeper red as a faint note of desire floated through his force aura and hung on the word 'privacy'. Though she desperately wished he'd leave so that she could crawl under the covers in embarrassment, she realized she had no idea how long she'd been asleep, or, more importantly, where they were headed. Taking a deep breath in a failed attempt to banish the mortification she felt, she reached out to grab his cloak. "Wait," she stammered. "You – you haven't told me where you're taking me." As she spoke, she tried to inconspicuously slide the tunic back down to cover her legs; if she was going to have a conversation with him, she was going to do it clothed, to the fullest extent possible.

Feeling the tug on his garment, Ren stopped and slowly turned to face Rey. He nodded and resumed his position perched on the edge of the bed. "We are going to a planet called Kesh, in Wild Space. It is surrounded by a powerful magnetic field, which makes it difficult to reach. I have a private retreat there, to which I may go when I feel a need to be still and draw on the power of the force." He paused, looking away from her as he continued, "The planet is rich in Sith lore. It has a long and tragic history, and is largely abandoned now." Sensing her apprehension, he shook his head and offered her a half-smile. "I do not employ Stormtroopers there. The only servants I retain are my faithful droids. I promise, you will be quite safe."


	17. Chapter 17 - Safe Haven

Authors' note: Lucasfilm and Disney own the characters, we just play with them from time to time. This story was jointly written by DisappointedSon and FeministAwakens - we hope you enjoy it!

* * *

As he sat back down, she shifted away slightly, still feeling overexposed. 'Kesh…' Why did that so sound familiar to her? As he continued talking, it hit her; Luke had once mentioned the place. It was rumored to have a tremendous concentration of dark side energy, but no one knew whether it existed. 'Until now,' she thought, growing concerned. It wasn't the Stormtroopers that worried her. She shook her head at Ren's attempt to reassure her; " _Mostly_ abandoned?" she asked suspiciously. "You're taking me to a Sith planet that's only mostly abandoned, and difficult to access? Are you just planning to keep me there forever?" This didn't strike her as neutral ground from which she could depart to a Resistance base – it sounded more like a place where he'd try to seduce her to join the dark side and the First Order.

He shook his head with a half-hearted chuckle. "The area where my sanctuary is located is completely abandoned. And though the Sith have a rich history on Kesh, they have been all but eradicated." He sighed, frustrated that she still seemed to believe that he wished her harm. Fixing her with a sorrowful expression, he said softly, "You have my word that I will not harm you or hold you against your will." With a final pleading look and a nod, he stood up from the bed and started toward the door. "You should finish getting dressed. We'll be landing soon."

Blankets still tightly wrapped around her, Rey waited until the door hissed shut before she moved. Pulling the cover back, she shivered and wandered to the refresher, musing over what Ren had said. He had been extraordinarily kind to her for the last few days, but she couldn't figure out how he benefitted from taking care of her and simply returning her to the Resistance, unharmed, and in Rey's experience, people didn't do things that weren't in their own self-interest. She grabbed her tunic and to her dismay, found it was still wet. Mumbling curses under her breath, she walked back into the bedroom. She did _not_ want to keep wearing Ren's clothes, but at the moment, it seemed to be her only option. Pulling open a dresser drawer, she rooted around until she'd found what appeared to be leggings. She slipped them on, figuring they were better than wearing nothing but a tunic, and cuffed them at the bottom before flopping back onto the bed to wait for Ren's return.

He hadn't realized just how tired and weak he was until he was standing behind the pilots, watching Kesh come into view. The purple aura enveloped the small planet, making it appear as though it was glowing. "Set us down in the Ragnos Lake region," he ordered.

Within minutes, they had entered Kesh's atmosphere and were touching down on the planet's surface in an area of lush green vegetation, crisscrossed with vivid blue rivers feeding into lakes. The crystal water was further illuminated by several species of fluorescent algae lining the river beds. The scene outside the viewport caused a warm pleasant rush of relief to wash over the exhausted and weary man.

Turning to address the crew, Ren spoke with loud, confident authority. "Hear me well, troopers. Once the girl and I have departed, you will return to General Hux and deliver the following message. The mission to Mygeeto was unsuccessful. The scavenger girl eluded us again, and I have retreated here to meditate and gather my resolve. _Anyone_ who breathes a word to the contrary will meet my wrath. For your own sakes, I do not recommend it." Then he turned and left the bridge to retrieve Rey.

Rey had been fidgeting on the bed, waiting for Ren to return, when a soft purple glow replaced the cold darkness of space in the viewport. She rushed to peer out of it, and she could see the shuttle drawing closer to what she could only assume was a planet. As she felt the craft descend toward it, the surface came rushing into view as they cleared the top layer of atmosphere. Rey let out an excited gasp and pressed her face against the transparisteel, hoping to get a closer look at the vast emerald and azure landscape that was rushing towards them. She was so transfixed by the beauty of the planet that she didn't hear the soft hiss of the door opening as Ren stepped back into his quarters.

As the door slid open, Kylo Ren took a step inside his quarters, but stopped abruptly, transfixed by the sight of Rey peering out the viewport in awe. A smile crept over his lips as he realized that Rey had probably never seen a landscape quite like this one. Even as young Ben Solo, the knight had always had a thirst for knowledge - a yearning for things and places unknown. He supposed his apparent wanderlust came from his father, Han Solo. Everyone knew that man was incapable of staying in one place for any length of time. Yet this girl had spent practically her whole life on a desolate junk heap of a planet in the outer rim. Once more it struck him how much of a paradox this girl was – both world-wise and naive at once; a beautiful contradiction.

Clearing his throat, he took a few more steps into the room before announcing, "We're here."

She jumped slightly as he alerted her to his presence. Unable to contain her excitement, she blurted out "It's beautiful! I was expecting it to be barren and covered in volcanos or something…" She trailed off, recognizing how ridiculous it sounded that she expected a former Sith planet to look the embodiment of evil. Feeling his eyes on her, she turned slightly to meet his gaze. "Oh, um, and I borrowed a pair of your leggings," she added apologetically "my clothing still isn't dry, and just your tunic wasn't really enough to be properly dressed" 'and _why_ did I just tell him I didn't have enough clothing on?' she groaned to herself before taking a step toward the refresher to collect her wet garments

Hearing her exclamation over the planet's beauty made Ren smile broadly. "I'm pleased that you think so," he answered softly. "I must agree, it is very beautiful. It's one of the main reasons I chose this place to establish my private residence. I considered Mustafar, but...you know... I don't really like volcanic planets." He allowed himself a good-natured laugh, hoping that Rey would understand the little joke. As she went to collect her wet clothes, he nodded. "Don't worry - my droid will take care of washing and drying your clothes. He's very competent with such things." Once she had exited the refresher once more, he extended his arm in a welcoming manner. "Are you ready? Come. I'll show you around."

"It looks like the most beautiful place in the entire galaxy," she breathed, awestruck by the vast expanse of deep blue water the shuttle had landed next to. Rey hadn't heard of Mustafar, but she chuckled anyway, picturing Ren scowling amidst volcanoes. As she scooped them up in the refresher, the clothes felt cold and heavy in her arms, but she was so thankful he hadn't jumped on her awkwardness to either tease her or wordlessly let his eyes wander over her that she ignored it. He gestured towards the door, and with a halting "Ok," she hesitantly followed him from the room, hoping not to run into any Stormtroopers on their way out.

With considerable pride, Kylo led Rey off the shuttle. Having ordered the crew and small contingent of stormtroopers to remain on the bridge, they departed without coming into direct contact with anyone.

The air was heavy with the scent of damp earth and Dalsa Flowers, and the song of Canakal birds high in the trees wafted around them like a gentle embrace. The banks of the lake were lined with Hejarbo shoots swaying in the soft breeze as ripples on the crystal clear water softly lapped at the shore. Kylo Ren took a deep breath, eyes closed. Of all the places he spent his time, this was by far his favorite. He could sense the awe radiating off his companion, and he turned to observe her outward reaction to the landscape surrounding them.

Rey gaped as they stepped off the shuttle's ramp. If Takodana had seemed to be the most green in the galaxy or the seas of Ahch-To had stretched to the end of the world, Kesh must be _paradise._ She closed her eyes and inhaled, letting the peace of the planet wash over her. "Ren," she sighed, reluctantly pulling herself out of her reverie "It's _beautiful_." She was at a loss for words; normally, sounding so inarticulate would bother her, but she couldn't bring herself to care as she gazed in wonder across the vista. Looking across the lake, she could see a few buildings dotting the distant shores, though buildings was a bit of a misnomer; the ancient castles stood proudly against the deep , their spires gleaming in the sunlight against the ultramarine of the water. "Do you live in a _castle_?" she asked breathlessly, any concerns about his intentions momentarily forgotten.

He chuckled softly at Rey's question. Shaking his head, he answered, "No. Nothing so ostentatious." Placing a hand gently at her back, he turned her around to face in the opposite direction. "This way," he urged, leading her up a winding path through a wooded area. "The shuttle is too large to set down very close to my home, but it's just as well. I prefer a measure of privacy, as I'm sure you can understand." Ren was feeling more at ease than he had since he'd left the Finalizer, and he hoped his inner tranquility was also calming to the young woman at his side.

As they walked through the trees, steadily ascending, he pointed out the native flowers that punctuated the forest floor, and even caught a glimpse of a muut scurrying through the undergrowth.

When they finally reached the summit of the hill they'd been climbing, the woods opened onto a stunning vista, overlooking the lakes below them and the 8 castles in the distance, each surrounded by the ruins of what used to be an entire civilization. Turning to his right, Kylo held out his hand. "Welcome to my home," he said, gesturing toward a modest but comfortable dwelling set into the hillside.


	18. Chapter 18 - Settling In

Authors' note: Lucasfilm and Disney own the characters, we just play with them from time to time. This story was jointly written by DisappointedSon and FeministAwakens - we hope you enjoy it!

* * *

The outer walls of Kylo Ren's secret dwelling were made of stone, and the roof was thatched hejarbo shoots. As the pair looked on, a dark pewter colored protocol droid shuffled out of the front door. "Master Kylo! It is _so_ good to see you again!" the droid said in a metallic voice. "I have prepared everything just as you like it-oh..." The droid stopped abruptly, just noticing the girl standing with Kylo. "Oh goodness me! A _visitor_!" His voice turned shrill in excitement.

Rey relaxed slightly at his touch, even as the contact sent a flurry of sparks shooting through her body. A calmness lapped at the edge of her thoughts, and she realized that it was Ren's emotional peace radiating out from him, she assumed, unintentionally. She trailed behind him as they hiked up a wooded path, drinking in the natural beauty she was still entirely unaccustomed to after a lifetime spent in a desert. As they reached the hilltop, she had to tear her gaze away from the view of the expanse in front of her as he headed toward an unassuming building and a protocol droid rushed out to greet him. She giggled slightly at the droid's excitement and offered a sheepish "Hello there," before deferring to Ren to explain their predicament to his babbling assistant.

Ren smiled at Rey and gave her a knowing look as the droid began to speak again. "It is so seldom we get visitors here, and it is such a treat to entertain a guest now and then! Allow me to introduce myself! I am TC-01, human/cyborg relations, and I am at your most humble service." He offered a stiff bow, bending at the waist. Ren turned to Rey and whispered, "he gets lonely," with a subtle roll of his eyes. Turning back to the droid, the dark haired young man said calmly, "Thank-you, TC-01. Please go and prepare a place for our guest to sleep. She will be staying with us only until she has regained her full strength and is able to travel. Go on, now." The droid twisted to address its master, taking care to memorize the instructions given. "Of course, Master Kylo. Right away." And with that, the droid turned on its heels and waddled back into the house. Smiling at Rey, Kylo said, "I built him - TC-01. I modeled him after the droid my grandfather built - C3PO."

Rey managed to suppress any laughter both at Ren's feigned annoyance and the droid's formality and enthusiasm, though her amusement quickly turned to a feeling of guilt as he informed the droid that she was only here to recuperate. A feeling of shame rippled through her as she thought of how suspiciously she'd treated him in the past few days. There was no reason for him to be so kind to her, and yet he appeared to be doing just that; he was treating her as a friend, sharing personal stories with her. Judging by the droid's reaction, this planet really was his sanctuary, and he was willing to let her stay for as long as she needed, without demanding any promises or conditions from her. As the droid tottered off, she turned toward Ren. "Thank you," she said finally, still lost in thought. "You didn't have to do any of this for me, especially not take me to somewhere so… private to you," She trailed off, struggling to express her remorse at the accusations she'd both thought and hurled at him.

Ren offered her a warm smile. It was so much easier to relax here than in a cold dark cave or on that infernal star destroyer! This was where he felt most at home - most _himself_. With a slight shrug, he said, "I want to prove to you that I'm more than a creature in a mask. I'm not _evil_ , Rey. Not really." He turned to look back at his meager dwelling in the hillside. TC-01 will see to it that you are comfortable, and he's probably already cooked something for us to eat. I notified him of my arrival from the shuttle. He's quite useful, if a bit socially awkward," he laughed. "Come on inside."

He led her into the house, shedding his cloak at the door. The interior of the structure was minimalistic, but comfortable. The walls were bare, but painted pleasantly. To the right was a small sitting area with a deeply piled rug covering the floor and two simple cushioned chairs. A large window overlooked the scenic view and allowed light and fresh air to flow into the space. To the left was a simple kitchen and breakfast nook with a stone bench projecting from the wall, covered by roughly fabricated cushions. A short walk farther into the hovel revealed a simply furnished bedroom, and another, smaller room with nothing inside it except a few scattered pillows on the floor, and a low table covered with candles and relics from the old Empire. Nodding toward this room, Ren explained, "My room of meditation."

Rey gave a curt nod, not quite sure how else to respond to his repeated insistence that he wasn't a monster. The care he'd shown her over the past few days stood in stark discordance with his behavior, both what she'd heard of and what she'd seen for herself. She followed him inside, watching as he removed his cloak and proceeded inside. He seemed lighter and more upbeat, his gait changed from the usual stalking manner in which he moved to a more relaxed, and less intimidating, stride. Pushing the thought of Ren from her mind, she gazed around the small home; it might as well have been a palace to her. Sunlight streamed into it, and it felt warm and inviting, not to mention clean, something she had never managed with her home on Jakku.

He'd paused at the beginning of a hallway, she realized, waiting for her. She offered an apologetic smile, "It's really lovely, Ren," she said shyly, following him down the short corridor. A quick peek into the first room revealed what she assumed was his bedroom, with a long, plain couch and a large, stark bed. As another door slid open, Rey felt her body grow cold as the energy oozed from the room into the corridor. Stepping back, she tried to block it out and focus on anything besides the chill spreading through her. Glancing around for a distraction, she realized there were no other doorways off the hall; "Um," she paused, "where should I put my clothes?" She had been about to ask where she'd sleep, but decided she didn't want to spend any longer in what seemed to be the bedroom area than necessary.

Ren could sense the uncertainty that Rey felt over where she would stay, and hurried to explain, "TC-01 will make a comfortable place for you to sleep in the meditation room. It's quiet and peaceful, and there's plenty of space." He studied her, trying to discern the series of emotions flowing from her without intruding on her mind, but he found it difficult, and realized he hadn't slept very much the previous night.

She took another step back from the room, trying to put distance between herself and whatever was in the room that felt like it was unfurling around her. Swallowing hard, she stole a glance at him, struggling to figure out what to do. She was his guest, after all, and he was welcoming her into his private retreat. It wasn't exactly palatial, and she couldn't ask him to give up his bed for her, that would sound entirely ungrateful. Staring hard at the floor, "Could I… possibly stay in the living room?" Rey asked timidly, grasping for a plausible excuse. Finding none, she fell silent, continuing to concentrate on a particularly interesting slab of stone near her feet.

Ren frowned, trying not to feel affronted by Rey's rejection of his meditation chamber. "Well..." He paused, thinking. "There's not really a good space to lie down out there..." His eyes flicked to the bedroom. He had assumed she would have been averse to staying in the same room as he, but then again, they _had_ spent the last two nights in close quarters. Looking back to her, he said, "I suppose I could sleep on the sofa. You could have the bed. It's not fancy, but it's comfortable."

An increasingly familiar flush was beginning to creep up Rey's cheeks as a slightly insulted look swept across his strong features. "I can sleep on the couch!" she volunteered quickly. She was already imposing, and didn't want to overstep her bounds any more than she already had. "I've already gotten some rest, you need it more than I do," she added, hoping it wouldn't lead to an argument. Besides, he stood more than a head taller than her; she'd be much more comfortable on the couch than he would. She fidgeted as he seemed to contemplate what she'd said. "You must be hungry," she guessed. "I can make some dinner if you'd like…"

Trying to subtly feel his way into her consciousness, he sensed that her offer was sincere. "Alright," he conceded, "You can have the couch if you like." His brows crawled upward toward his forehead at her offer to cook dinner, remembering how upset she'd gotten when he'd assumed she would know something about how to cook the Stalking Bird on Mygeeto. "I imagine TC-01 has already begun preparations for our meal," he suggested, wary of setting off the fiery girl's temper. He couldn't help but smile at the realization that most people probably felt that way in his presence most of the time.

Her consciousness felt fuller for a moment and she bristled, but, unable to sense an intrusion, she chalked it up to a residual effect of the energy coming from his meditation room. "I can cook some meals, you know," she pouted, planting her hands on her hips in mock displeasure. "I have had to feed myself since I left Jakku. She was about to tell him she wasn't going to poison him or set fire to his kitchen when she noticed a slight smirk dance across his face. "Hey!" she countered. "What's so amusing?" She watched his eyes twinkle for just a fraction of a second as his smile reached them and she continued to pout, feigning offense.


End file.
